“Prevention is better than cure” Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures To what extent do you agree?
Many argue that the studies and treatments of all sorts of diseases are an expensive process that costs too many resources.
Therefore
, investing in measures to prevent illnesses is a better alternative. This
essay completely agrees with this
view because it reduces the high cost of healthcare and preventive methods keep people safe and healthy.
Funding procedures that prevent health
issues lowers medical care costs. Providing safety guidelines, applying correct strategies to control outbreaks of any disease, and informing people about healthier lifestyles decrease the probability of multiple health
issues and recurring medical procedures followed by expenses such
as medicine, equipment and medical attention. Such
extensive demands may strain the health
service. For example
, according to
the World Health
Organisation, Canada is a state that prioritizes prevention and provides access for the population to appropriate clinical services, having a positive outcome, such
as early detection of illness and avoiding expensive health
intervention.
The second reason why preventive care should be prioritised is that it educates the population to aim for a healthier and safer lifestyle. Educating about the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle helps to form awareness for each individual to take initiative and prevent sicknesses that could potentially affect their health
in the near future. Modern-day medicine allows people to have better and longer livelihoods, as they are able to manage most illnesses at the first stage
of their development, as preventive care promotes autonomous medical prevention. As an example, a food diet is a highly effective method used as a health
guide to support patients presenting signs of food disorders.
In conclusion, preventative measures avoid the elevation in healthcare costs and guarantee a healthy supported lifestyle; therefore
, I believe that health
procedures should have a far greater investment.Submitted by aracellypapas on
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Task Achievement
The task response is generally excellent. You have addressed all parts of the task, and your arguments are relevant and well-supported. However, make sure to add more depth to your points by providing additional examples or further elaboration on preventive measures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows well into the next. However, using more linking phrases would further enhance the coherence. For instance, phrases like "Furthermore" or "Moreover" can help emphasize the continuation of your argument.
Introduction and Conclusion Presence
The essay has a strong and relevant introduction and conclusion, bookending your arguments effectively.
Supported Main Points
Your arguments are logical and well-supported. The examples provided, such as the reference to the World Health Organization and Canada's policies, effectively substantiate your claims.
Complete Response
You have addressed all parts of the question, providing a complete response with clear and comprehensive ideas that relate well to the task prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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