Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?
In
this
contemporary setting, a growing number of population tend to settle down and become parents Linking Words
while
reaching enough maturity. Experts have a great debate about whether starting a family after the Linking Words
age
of thirty is a positive or negative development. To my mind, Use synonyms
this
is a beneficial transformation. Linking Words
This
essay will refer to my opinion and draw a reasonable conclusion.
To commence with, Some folk and I think establishing a family on their own at an upper Linking Words
age
has ample advantages. An obvious reward of getting married over than third decade of life is financial stability and a quality lifestyle, because individuals tend to have completed their graduations, achieved desired jobs, and bought a flat and a car. Use synonyms
This
apparently will enhance the quality of partnership relations. Linking Words
For example
, based on several surveys conducted on many households globally, the majority of couples are more likely to experience a peaceful relationship Linking Words
while
married in their thirties.
The other possible outcome of Linking Words
this
alteration is that the community usually becomes more mature mentally. The longer people live, the more people learn how to be patient which is most needed when becoming a parent. Linking Words
However
, increasing the Linking Words
age
of fertility is a severe concern, especially for females. I would argue that the medical system now is very developed to treat women’s and babies' health. Use synonyms
For instance
, a recent study carried out by the Tehran Research Institute indicates that a woman at the Linking Words
age
of 33 has a similar chance of pregnancy compared to a 26-year-old woman.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, I believe that the upside of Linking Words
this
statement is really high, because Linking Words
this
shift not only allows the crowd to expand their horizon, but it Linking Words
also
makes the parents more affordable. Linking Words
Therefore
, I find Linking Words
this
change a fruitful phenomenon.Linking Words
Submitted by ziba.gharehnazifam on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear logical progression throughout the essay. Some points are not entirely coherent, lacking a seamless transition from one idea to another. Developing smoother links between sentences and paragraphs will enhance the essay's overall clarity and logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more explicit in terms of summarising the main points discussed in the body of the essay. The conclusion could be more comprehensive and restate the writer's opinion more firmly.
coherence cohesion
While main points are supported, it is beneficial to delve deeper into the topic with more detailed explanations and development of ideas, rather than just stating them. Expanded and fully developed supporting information will strengthen your main points significantly.
task achievement
You have addressed the task, providing an opinion on the trend of marrying and having children later in life. However, the response can be enhanced by ensuring a clear introduction of your main ideas and a more thorough exploration of these ideas throughout the essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and generally clear, but some are vague or require further elaboration. It is essential to offer comprehensive explanations and more articulate justifications for the points raised, conveying a precise and persuasive argument.
task achievement
Use more varied and specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While some examples are provided, they lack depth and specificity which could strengthen the overall persuasiveness and connection to the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.