IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
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Nowadays, a huge amount of
money
 is spent on
space
 research every year in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
countries
. The common
argue
Replace the word
argument
show examples
 is that the
money
 should be spent on developing the standards of living on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
This
 writer strongly agrees with
this
 opinion and will show the point of view in
this
 essay. First of all, not all
countries
 have enough
money
 to have a
space
 exploration program. Just the big
countries
 like America, China or Russia can afford it. The reason behind
this
 point of view is that
just
Rephrase
only
show examples
 these
countries
 have enough
money
 to improve the
space
 exploration program.
Moreover
, it
also
 spoils our environment.
For instance
, the fume which
coming
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 from the rocket can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air pollution and acid
raining
Wrong verb form
rain
show examples
. Not only that, it
also
 affects people’s health and causes many diseases
such
 as lung cancer and respiratory diseases.
Furthermore
, many people in around the world do not have enough food to eat or the lack of living places or the children in the poor areas cannot go to school. The action of spending millions of dollars on
space
explore
Replace the word
exploration
show examples
 is unnecessary.
Instead
 of that, the government should invest
this
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the business to develop their
countries
, using that
money
 to build more
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 for the poor citizens or build more
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to educate the children. In conclusion,
this
 writer believes that the big benefits of
explore
Change the verb form
exploring
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
 but it
also
 destroys our habitat.
Instead
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 have to use that
money
 to develop the living standards on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and consistent argument throughout your essay, avoiding repetitions and irrelevant details.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task, making sure to fully develop your argument with relevant examples and clear explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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