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Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
In recent years many things have more and more serious developments. It means that It had many researches and much
money
 spent on it. Some people said that the
money
 should be used for that,
however
, some believed that
money
 should be spent on improving living standards on
Earth
. To my mind. I totally agree with the first opinion. First of all,
space
research
 is very crucial in the contemporary world because it could more a breakthrough in humanity's history.
Besides
 that,
space
research
 could bring us more and more job security.
For example
, in order to look into the new
planet
, it means that we found a new environment.
Therefore
, we had more things to do
such
 as studying the substances on that
planet
 or examining the plan carpet on
this
planet
.
Secondly
,
space
research
 was not only opening our minds about the world but
also
 protecting the
Earth
. Because we study about the
Earth
, we can know more information about the third
planet
 in the solar system
such
 as the structure of the
Earth
, climate change and the ecosystem on the
Earth
.
Therefore
 we could predict and prevent natural disasters like earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and tsunamis. In conclusion, I prefer the opinion that we should spend
money
 on
space
.
research
 every year that uses
this
money
 to improve living standards on
Earth
 Because astronomy can bring us more benefits than the remaining items.
Submitted by khoi11nk11e on

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introduction conclusion
Your essay's introduction does not clearly paraphrase the prompt and fails to give a clear thesis statement outlining your position. Your conclusion restates your position but is not strong and does not summarize your main points effectively. It is important to clearly restate your thesis and summarize your main arguments in the conclusion.
task achievement
You need to develop your ideas more fully and relate them directly back to the question throughout your essay. Be sure to answer the question given and keep your writing focused on the topic. Avoid diverting into vaguely related discussions.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas which can confuse the reader. Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details and examples, and smooth transitions between points. Use cohesive devices effectively to link your ideas and paragraphs together.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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