IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The graph shows the number of people taking parts in 4 kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#people #parts #kinds #sports #region #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart
represents
Verb problem
shows
show examples
 the four kinds of sports
taken
Wrong verb form
that took
show examples
 part
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 between 1985 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, the different kinds of sports activities include
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Basketball, Tennis, Badminton and
Rugby
Use synonyms
. In 1985, 50
people
Use synonyms
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 badminton and the flow was in the same line till 2005. Basketball was around 55% of
people
Use synonyms
 and maintained the same flow as same as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Badminton. Tennis was played by 150
people
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1985 and was gradually increased to 210
member
Change to a plural noun
members
show examples
 by the
year
Use synonyms
 2005.
Rugby
Use synonyms
 was ranging from 250
andthere
Correct your spelling
and there
 was
drastic
Change the adjective
drastically
show examples
 decreased to 50% of the
people
Use synonyms
 by the time it reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2005.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Rugby
Use synonyms
 was the maximum amount of
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 to play in the
year
Use synonyms
 1985 and It was
also
Linking Words
 the same sport that was
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 taken part
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of
people
Use synonyms
 in 2005. Tennis and
Rugby
Use synonyms
maintains
Change the verb form
maintain
show examples
 the same number that
takes
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 part in playing during the
year
Use synonyms
 1995 by 200
people
Use synonyms
.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, rugby, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • participation rate
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • peak
  • stable
  • comparative analysis
  • dominance
  • decline
  • steady growth
  • significant change
  • regional popularity
  • time period
  • sports activities
  • data representation
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