IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Millions of dollars are soent on space research every year. Some people argue that that the money should be spend on improving living standards on Earth.

#millions #dollars #soent #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
There is a controversial issue about spending
money
 on different purposes. Despite the writer contending that public
money
 should be spent on developing living criteria on
this
 planet,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some people believe that spending it on
space
 study each year is better. The reason why many individuals consider that there would
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 more financial assistance in improving living conditions is affecting directly to
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 health and life. It must be acknowledged that people are now living on the Earth,
thus
, they would be harmful by worsening the criteria of life.
For instance
, in Vietnam, many private businesses tend to invest in finding solutions for reducing air pollution and plastic waste.
In other words
, most of the population
focus
Correct subject-verb agreement
focuses
show examples
 on solving the problems on the Earth more than investing in
space
 research.
In contrast
, others think that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should assist in finance for doing
space
 research every year. It is vital to understand that human is running out of natural resources and green spaces.
Due to
 the fact that the Earth has dying out in recent years,
thus
, the number of investors in
space
 study is increasing doubtlessly in order to look up a new living environment. There is no doubt that many people suggest that using
money
 in studying
space
 is better than other purposes. In brief, it must be noted that the idea of living in
space
 is doubtful and takes a lot of time to make it become
truth
Replace the word
true
show examples
.
Hence
,
money
 should be used to upgrade living standards
instead
 of
space
 research.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting sentences that relate to the main idea. Additionally, make sure to use appropriate transitional phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments and make them more convincing.
lexical resource
Enrich your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and expressions to express your ideas. Also, pay attention to word choice to ensure clarity and precision.
grammatical range
Pay closer attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve overall fluency. Vary your sentence types and use more complex structures to demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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