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Band 6

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #controls #noise
People
 hold different views about whether
people
 should have the freedom to produce
noise
 or comply with some regulations
of
Change preposition
apply
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In my view, it is important that
noise
 making be put under control. On the one hand, it is understandable why some
people
 believe in their rights to generate
noise
 freely. As
people
 these days often have to suffer from considerable stress at work or school, they tend to find an effective way to relieve it. In some cases, recreational activities
such
 as karaoke singing or party holding can bring a certain amount of relaxation, mitigating stressful situations for everyone. If too strictly imposed, any restriction
of
Change preposition
on
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noise
 may deter
people
 from gaining access to one of the useful methods of relaxing.
However
, I can understand the arguments against
noise
 makers.
Firstly
, excessive levels of
noise
 can cause serious disturbance to the nearby residents who
also
 have the
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
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 to take a proper rest after a tiring day. Those who are affected by the loud sounds from their neighbours may not only be unable to relax but
also
 have their levels of discomfort increased. In the long term,
this
 will definitely have a negative impact on their quality of life. Another reason for
this
 opinion is that too much
noise
 can produce detrimental effects on the health of the unintentional hearers.
For example
, constant exposure to
high pitch
Correct your spelling
high-pitched
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noise
 can result in auditory problems,
for
example
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example,
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 hearing loss. Hearing-impaired individuals are very likely to experience difficulty in their daily life. In conclusion,
although
 there are good reasons why
people
 should be allowed to make as much
noise
 as they wish, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
 some appropriate controls are necessary.
Submitted by ledinhan168 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized and follows a logical structure. Each paragraph presents a clear main idea and is appropriately developed with supporting points and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize your main points.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments. However, it would be beneficial to include more specific and detailed examples to strengthen your ideas.
task achievement
You have addressed the task prompt by discussing both views and expressing your opinion. You have provided a balanced response with valid arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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