IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you argee or disagree

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth #argee
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There is a controversial discussion about whether the government should expenditure on improving living criteria on Earth rather than spend on
space
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research
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. The writer contends that
money
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 should be spent on
space
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 exploration as a first preparation for the future. It is acknowledged that humanity is facing a variety of vital problems.
such
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 as overpopulation and running out of resources,
as a result
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 of industrialization in the past. Humankind is not aware that they are continually destroying their lovely home by dumping a large amount of waste into the environment annually.
Therefore
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, local authorities
as well as
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 governments Need to come up with a plan to solve
this
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 problem. And the idea of finding another suitable planet for humans to live in the most affordable alternatives. Since the millennium, one of the human ambitious goals has been to manifest,
therefore
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,
space
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 and we keep improving our technology for that dream to become true. By increasing the amount of
money
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 given to
space
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research
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, developed countries.
For instance
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, Russia and USA are more and more close to our ambition. Humankind can take
this
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 as a first preparation for the future when
Space
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 travel does not seem to be impossible. Many critics say that the
money
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 should be spent on improving the cost of living rather than concentrating on
space
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research
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due to
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 the fact that it is exorbitant and humans can not take the benefits immediately.
This
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 is true to some extent, but the writer believes that governments have already divided the
money
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 from tax so each of it can be used properly.
Therefore
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 individuals should not be worried in many cases so that the governments do not care about their citizens. In conclusion, the writer completely agrees with the amount of
money
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 spent on spare
research
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 as humankind can take a wide range of benefits in the near future.
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using more varied and precise words.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structure and grammar accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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