More and more people are becoming overweight. Some people suggest that increasing the price of fattening food is a solution，to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In many countries around the world, more and more people are getting obese. It is argued that one of the solutions is to raise the

price

Use synonyms

of fattening

food

Use synonyms

. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion. The primary reason for holding my view is that ready-made

food

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as McDonald's, is a cheaper dietary option compared to other meals and restaurants for the poor in some nations. Take a clear example, research reveals that fast

food

Use synonyms

has become one of the cheaper foods in Swiss and other countries. In

this

Linking Words

case, a large proportion of the poor have no other choice but to choose those to consume.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, if the

price

Use synonyms

of high-fat

food

Use synonyms

is increased, it is possible to make the poor suffer from hunger.

Secondly

Linking Words

, ready-made foods are not the only factor that makes people overweight.

In other words

Linking Words

, a variety of reasons may give rise to obesity,

for instance

Linking Words

, a lack of exercise, heavy pressure, and getting older are

also

Linking Words

factors that lead to the problem of being overweight.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if those prices are raised, not only will it not effectively solve the obesity problem, but it will

also

Linking Words

deprive people of their

food

Use synonyms

options.

As a result

Linking Words

, in my opinion, it should advocate the importance of a healthy diet

instead

Linking Words

of increasing the

price

Use synonyms

of fattening

food

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. In conclusion, I disagree with increasing the

price

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since those are some of the

food

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options for some specific groups in society;

moreover

Linking Words

food

Use synonyms

is not the only reason for the obesity problem.

Submitted by sherry0588 on Mon Oct 30 2023

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task response

Overall, your essay provides a clear response to the prompt. However, the second body paragraph could be further developed to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is clear and the ideas are well-connected. However, you could enhance the use of transition words to improve the flow of your essay.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is appropriate and you convey your ideas effectively. However, consider incorporating more varied vocabulary to enhance your writing.

grammatical range

Your grammar is generally accurate and you use a range of sentence structures. However, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tenses.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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More and more people are becoming overweight. Some people suggest that increasing the price of fattening food is a solution，to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people buy local food?

Many universities graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession what factors may have caused this situation and what in your opinion should be care about it?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities whether they only know a few people in their area. Advantages and disadvantages of living in small communities?

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to be successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree and say that nowadays, this is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.