Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

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Arguing to create a school’s policy is important today. The public says that

students

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should be included in making

rules

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at school. Others believe that producing the policy is the responsibility of teachers or parents. I think that youngsters must be involved in establishing some policies at school in order to improve their abilities. Building school

rules

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is interesting for some

students

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because it can boost their skills and give them more advantages.

For instance

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this

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condition lets

students

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learn to decide something new in their life.

Additionally

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, parents will be happy because the presence of their kids really matters for the school’s living.

Moreover

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, teachers will know what

students

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need and their points of view.

In contrast

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, their decisions are not valid because youngsters do not have good mature ideas.

On the other hand

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, sometimes, children’s critical thinking has not given them valid or legitimate actions yet, and they still need guidance from adults.

Furthermore

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, adults have a better outlook to pinpoint something because of their experience.

Consequently

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, they can choose the best choices among some criteria.

However

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, sometimes, children do not like their views because the

rules

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are strict enough for them because they always explore whatever they like so they tend to break the

rules

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. In the end, children disobey the policy and become more rebellious. In conclusion, I believe that children must be involved in creating

rules

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at schools. It can sharpen their critical thinking and skills in the future.

However

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, guidance from adults should be included in order to make the best choices.

irhamtaufiqurrahmanThu Jul 18 2024

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task achievement

Your ideas are well-articulated and the essay has a good logical structure. However, providing more specific examples can help strengthen your arguments and make your points more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion. Nevertheless, enhancing the linking phrases between paragraphs can improve overall flow and coherence.

task achievement

You have effectively introduced the topic and presented balanced arguments from both perspectives before giving a reasoned opinion.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that contributes to the overall clarity.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibility
accountability
engagement
relevant
reflective
critical thinking
decision-making
experience
long-term implications
consistent
professionally considered
lenient
biased
discipline
order

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