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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that to become a vegetarian is the only way to keep healthy. Do you agree or disagree.

It is undeniable that eating
vegetables
Use synonyms
 extremely benefits
people
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 in order to become healthier and stronger. Many
people
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 argue only if they are vegetarian, can they keep healthy.
However
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, I believe that consuming
vegetables
Use synonyms
 alone has some drawbacks and there are plenty of ways for
people
Use synonyms
 to stay strong.
Firstly
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, eating too many
vegetables
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 without any balance in diet can harm health. Some studies have shown that in the US, where the rate of obesity is pretty high, many
people
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 have suffered malnutrition because of their imbalanced diets, which contain only
vegetables
Use synonyms
. Specifically, their bodies cannot be provided adequate necessary nutrition
such
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 as protein, which
included
Add a missing verb
is included
show examples
 mainly in meats.
Therefore
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, as a vindication, being a vegetarian without eating other essential nourishment is not the only method to keep in good shape.
Secondly
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, there is a plethora of approaches to optimal health. The first way is doing exercise regularly. As an exemplification, some researchers have shown that
this
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 activity helps our bodies reduce fat and improve our strength.
Moreover
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, it ensures they have enough energy to deal with their daily tasks. The second way is reducing the harmful use of alcohol and managing the stress. To epitomize, many
people
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 reported to WHO that those methods make them feel healthier and happier. Particularly, when
people
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 limit the amount of wine or beer consumed, they can avoid the harmful incidences related to obesity or high blood pressure.
Furthermore
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, relieving stresses and strains
also
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 assists communities in being in a better mood and controlling their weight. In consequence, there are more activities and habits
besides
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 those above that have similar advantages to eating
vegetables
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. In conclusion, when considering both vantage points, I believe the idea that only consuming
vegetables
Use synonyms
 can be adverse to our health and there are some other methods to keep fit.
People
Use synonyms
 should combine those to create the finest habits to stay healthy.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and avoid going off-topic.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points.
lexical resource
Vary sentence structures and use a wider range of vocabulary.
grammatical range
Check for grammatical errors and ensure consistent verb tense usage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
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