There have been a few cases of child abuse at some childcare centres in Vietnam. Discuss the reasons for this and the effects it can have on the affected children.

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There

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

could be seen at some kindergartens in Vietnam that child

abuse

Use synonyms

happened at an unfrequented range. People hold

Correct article usage

apply

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different

viewpoint

Fix the agreement mistake

viewpoints

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about

this

Linking Words

phenomenon for why it happened and what

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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effects it can have on

children

Use synonyms

who

went

Wrong verb form

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through it. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss the reasons for

this

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and the consequences it brings. There are various reasons that caused the teachers who

Add a missing verb

are in

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charge of

children

Use synonyms

to decide to use violence both physically and mentally on them.

Firstly

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, it is worth noticing that Vietnam is an Asian country where people believe that reprimand and physical punishment is important to educate

children

Use synonyms

at a young age to make them behave properly.

For example

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, some kids are forever crying and would not stop until someone severely

reprimand

Change the verb form

reprimands

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them or

hit

Correct subject-verb agreement

hits

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them. From that observation, they made an assumption that physical and emotional violation is the fastest way to make them well–behaved. But that could lead to something immoral, if the

children

Use synonyms

are accustomed to that kind of violence , the educators

got

Verb problem

have

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to use excessive force and

that is

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what we call

abuse

Use synonyms

Secondly

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, Vietnam

Unnecessary verb

apply

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still

lack

Correct subject-verb agreement

lacks

show examples

Change preposition

apply

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Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

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rights organizations,

therefore

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Change preposition

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a whole,

children

Use synonyms

are still suffering from violation as there í

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of supervision and protection from governmental organizations. The consequences of

this

Linking Words

kind of child

abuse

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

who went through it may vary. In the most severe cases,

usually

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usually,

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the torture claimed their lives.

Besides

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, emotional trauma is worth noticing as that could affect the reflection of the world as they grow up. Distorted perspective

as a result

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of childhood trauma is widely accepted as real . One historical figure

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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is considered as

suffering

Wrong verb form

suffered

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from

this

Linking Words

consequence was Adolf Hitler , in his school day he was abused by his teachers and surrounding people

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

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made him become one of the greatest dictators and harm many others. In conclusion , reasons for child

abuse

Use synonyms

could be from the national factor and

believing

Verb problem

apply

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to lack of organizations to supervise the action of teacher , and the repercussion is immeasurable from killing them to causing

suffer

Change the form of the verb

suffering

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to others

thanhlampham911Mon Oct 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main idea of the essay.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

lexical resource

Vary your vocabulary and use more precise and specific language.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structures and use a wider range of grammatical structures.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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There have been a few cases of child abuse at some childcare centres in Vietnam. Discuss the reasons for this and the effects it can have on the affected children.

Your opinion

In some countries around the world, there have been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of homeschooling education outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The migration of people to cities is one of the biggest problems facing the world's cities today.Disccus the main causes.What solutions could be used to tackle this situation.

Nowadays, more and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. what problems could this situation cause? what solutions you can suggest?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working on charity, teaching sport to younger people) To what extent do you agree or disagree?