IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #people #money #standards #earth
Some
people
 think spent a lot of
money
 on improving standards on
Earth
 because it can help the
Earth
 develop, and protect the environment. On the one hand, some
people
 think
that is
 not necessary, because protecting
Earth
 and developing
Earth
 is a lack of awareness. So, in my opinion, I will agree with
this
 statement and I will explain the reason why in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, we need to spend
money
 on improving living standards on
Earth
, because nowadays, our
Earth
 is so polluted and air and water are the most polluted in the world . Every year, our world is destroyed by hurricanes and volcanoes erupting. So we should donate
money
 to help part of the country. In 2019, we have covid-19, and everyone in the world died, making
people
 feel serious and scared. Finance in many countries didn'
t
 develop because of COVID-19, and we need medicine covid-19 prevention, but many poor countries
didn'
Wrong verb form
don't
show examples
t
 have enough
money
 to buy medicine, so we
need
Add the particle
need to
show examples
 donate
money
 to help. Donate
money
 to help protect the environment and grow a lot of trees, develop finance.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe
that is
 not necessary because we donate
money
, but that problem continues, doesn'
t
 decrease, just increases. So, we don'
t
 believe spent
money
 on
Earth
. A part of
people
 hold they just take our
money
, but they don'
t
 work . The government doesn'
t
 say that everyone in their country needs to spend
money
 on the
Earth
, so we don'
t
 need to.
Thus
, it can be seen that we should spend
money
 on
Earth
 because it helps protect the environment, grow many plants and trees, and develop finance for the country, So,
that is
 the reason why I agree with
this
 statement.

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task response
Ensure that your essay addresses the prompt directly and fully. Make sure to discuss both viewpoints and provide a clear position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure with logical progression of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary. Use more precise and varied words and phrases to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Review and practice your grammar to improve accuracy. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • scientific discoveries
  • cutting-edge technology
  • pioneering research
  • socio-economic development
  • improved healthcare
  • education
  • poverty alleviation
  • infrastructure
  • balanced approach
  • cost-effective
  • prioritize
  • allocate
  • resources
  • budget
  • investment
  • sustainable development
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