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Writing Samples
Band 4

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the most significant of these problems? How can these problems be tackled

#people #cities #face #range #life
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People
Use synonyms
 who live in big cities have to deal with a range of
problems
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 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. The most crucial of these
problems
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 are
crime
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 and pollution. These
problems
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 can be partly solved by the government being more strict in city rules.
Crime
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 is one of the biggest
problems
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 in the city.
According to
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 recent statistics, the rate of
crime
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 in urban areas increased dramatically compared to several years before. More and more types of criminals
such
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 as thieves, murderers... It makes life in big cities much more complicated.
Other
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Another
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 problem of cities is pollution. The reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem is
people
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, a lot of
people
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 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
awareness of the vital role that the
environment
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 plays, they waste a lot and their action increases their carbon footprint.
Moreover
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,
people
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also
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 destroy the
environment
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 by cutting down trees,
destroying
Correct word choice
and destroying
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 forests to build houses and apartments.
Therefore
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,
people
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 is why the pollution increases time by time. There are some methods to tackle these
problems
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.
Firstly
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, the government should apply the more strict punishment for criminals, it can reduce the rate of
crime
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 in urban areas.
Secondly
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, there should be a more strict
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
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 for protecting the
environment
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 for everyone,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming is the result of disrespect to the
environment
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.
Finally
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, each person must become aware of protecting the city safety and the
environment
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,
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not litter and planting more trees. In conclusion, the citizens
are suffered
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 from a lot of
problems
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 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Nonetheless
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, it can be solved by the government and each person's awareness.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
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