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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the amount of money that a children's charity located in the USA spent and received in one year, 2016. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #money #children #charity #usa #year #information #features #comparisons
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie charts demonstrate the
whole
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
money
has been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
paid by the USA
children’s
Capitalize word
Children’s
show examples
charity
Capitalize word
Charity
show examples
 in 2016 and compare it with its income.
Overall
, by a glance at these data, it is regarded that almost their purchases were equal to their revenue;
also
, they have made a minor profit. Regarding their monetary source,
Correct article usage
a dominate
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dominate
Replace the word
dominant
show examples
 part of their money has been earned by donating food, nearly three-quarters of
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
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. In comparison, the least fraction was owned by the government and investments
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were exactly the same; less than one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the role of program revenue was
negligiable
Correct your spelling
negligible
due to
 it
was
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 approximately 2%. Back to the expenditure chart , their money has been spent only on three main purposes including program services, fundraising, management and general. In more detail, the most paying out was on the program services
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 were roughly 96%.
Also
, fundraising was
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the second priority with a tiny difference in
copamrison
Correct your spelling
comparison
 with general spending.
Submitted by n97.mortazian on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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