Successful sports professionals earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#sports #professionals #people #professions

It is often argued that professional

athletes

gain significantly more money than people who work in jobs deemed vital for society. In my opinion,

this

notion is true because

sports

professionals have more opportunities to earn a fantastic income. First of all, professional

athletes

do not only receive money by competing in

sports

competitions but they

also

have other sources of income

such

as appearing in advertisements and becoming brand ambassadors for various products.

This

is because successful

athletes

are popular in public

due to

their history of winning trophies or their skills. They are oftentimes internationally recognized, meaning that their popularity is at a world level.

For example

, Christiano Ronaldo who is a very famous football player has appeared in a wide variety of commercials, from

sports

apparel to food products. The value of his contract has undoubtedly reached millions of dollars.

On the other hand

, people who work in essential professions commonly need to focus on merely one job because their roles are fundamental in society. Working in essential professions usually needs years of training and experience, followed by consistent dedication to be in those fields.

For instance

, doctors have to spend the majority of their time in hospitals or other healthcare facilities because they need to treat their patients. They surely will not possess other chances to gain money by doing other jobs. In conclusion, it is undeniable that successful

athletes

have more net worth than people whose occupations are essential for the public

due to

more variety of jobs that they can perform. I personally believe that statement because there has been much evidence showing that the popularity of

sports

professionals can aid them in opening more doors to

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

wealthier.

Submitted by tnindrasetiawan on Tue Oct 31 2023

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task response

Make sure to address both views in the prompt and provide a clear opinion.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas well to enhance coherence and cohesion.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.

grammatical range

Continue to work on grammar accuracy and range.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Successful sports professionals earn a great deal more than people in other important professions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The ling graph below shoes the percentage of tourists of Schtland who visited for different attractions in Edinburgh.

The unemployment rate is increasing dramatically in many worlds. Why is this the case? What can be done to solve this problem?

Do you believe that the widespread use of the internet has brought more positive or negative effects to society? Explain your opinion with relevant examples and reasons.

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.