IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You recently bought a toy from a company online. When the toy was delivered, you found some problems with it. Write a letter to the company manager. In your letter: -Describe the toy -Explain the problems with it -Tell the manager what you would like her/him to do

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Dear Sir, It is with great regret that I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you about the problem with the toy that I bought from your website. I bought an electronic
car
Use synonyms
 for my son's birthday. The
car
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 was 3 feet long and 2.5 feet wide. It was perfect for my son to sit in it and ride. The
car
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 had a remote to take control of it. I received the toy
car
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 on 2 March, 2026. Unfortunately, I am not happy with your service. Let me propound the reason for my dismay. Actually, when I received it, I tried to run it with the remote , but the remote was not working. I even tried to change the battery for the remote, but it still was not functioning.
Moreover
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, I did not receive the charging cable for the
car
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.
Although
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 it is not the type of service I was expecting. It would be of great help if you could deliver me a new remote and the charging cable.
Also
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, it would be perfect if you could deliver it with express shipping. Looking for a quick response from your end. Yours faithfully, James

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coherence cohesion
Say the main problem in a more clear way at the start of the second part.
coherence cohesion
Use simple link words like 'First', 'Also', and 'So' to make the flow more smooth.
task achievement
Ask for one clear action in the end, like a new remote and cable or a full return.
task achievement
Keep the tone polite but do not use very hard words when simple words are enough.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear opening, body, and ending.
task achievement
You answer all three parts of the task.
task achievement
The tone is polite and right for a letter to a company manager.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph mostly has one main idea.
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