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Band 4

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #somw #people #money #standards #earth
Many people
belives
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 that we should invest more in improving the condition of life on our planet, some
said
Wrong verb form
say
show examples
 that
money
 must be used in
space
 exploration more. It is the opinion of
this
 writer that more
money
 should go to look into outer
space
 because of good
sign
Fix the agreement mistake
signs
show examples
 of poverty and the need
of understanding
Change preposition
to understand
show examples
 the universe. It is vital to understand that the knowledge we have about the entire enormous universe
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 very limited. In our lives, scientists are urged to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to information and materials that they could use for optimizing every process for
human
Change the noun form
humans
show examples
such
 as providing energy, food or water, indirectly it may
also
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
show examples
 the living standard on Earth. Outer
space
 is a big
mistery
Correct your spelling
mystery
 for us and an important aspect for the human race to have a brighter future.
Therefore
 we have to
piorotize
Correct your spelling
prioritise
space
 research to
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
 toward. Another key component is the fact that we are doing well in reducing poverty and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 the
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 of living better than ever. Governments are
succeed
Wrong verb form
succeeding
show examples
 in helping poor countries grow faster and I strongly believe that putting more
money
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
 field could help it
happens
Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
show examples
 more effectively. It is true that we have
taken
Verb problem
made
show examples
 a lot of efforts to decrease the rate of poorness by 11.5% from 24% in 2005 to 12.5%
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2023.
This
 is an amazing pace and I think we are doing fine
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 planet that we do not need to worry about and heading to other goals like looking into the enigma
space
Change preposition
of space
show examples
. Taking everything into account , I
sencerely
Correct your spelling
sincerely
entirely
 agree with the idea of heading to
space
 and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 it
due to
 the fact that we do not need more
money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improve living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 and the need
of knowing
Change preposition
to know
show examples
 about
space
 more for our future.
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coherence cohesion
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction that clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Develop each main point with supporting details and examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Give a balanced view by addressing counterarguments and provide a conclusion that summarizes your main points.
task achievement
Address all aspects of the given task prompt, including the importance of improving living standards on earth and the argument for spending money on space research.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas and arguments.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity and coherence in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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