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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Somw people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

#millions #dollars #space #research #year #somw #people #money #standards #earth
Many people believe that we should invest more in improving the condition of life on our planet,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
 say that
money
 must be used
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
space
 exploration
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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. It is the opinion of
this
 writer that more
money
 should go to look into outer
space
 because of good signs of poverty and the need
of understanding
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to understand
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 the universe. It is vital to understand that the knowledge we have about the entire enormous universe
still
Add a missing verb
is still
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 very limited. In our lives, scientists are urged to have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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access to information and materials that they could use for optimizing every process for humans
such
 as providing energy, food or water, indirectly it may
also
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
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 the living standard on Earth. Outer
space
 is a big mystery for us and an important aspect for the human race to have a brighter future.
Therefore
 we have to prioritise
space
 research to look toward. Another key component is the fact that we are doing well in reducing poverty and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 the conditions of living better than ever. Governments are
succeed
Wrong verb form
succeeding
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 in helping poor countries grow faster and I strongly believe that putting more
money
 in
this
 field could help it happen more effectively. It is true that we have made a lot of efforts to decrease the rate of poorness by 11.5% from 24% in 2005 to 12.5%
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2023.
This
 is an amazing pace and I think we are doing fine
in
Change preposition
on
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out
Correct your spelling
our
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 planet that we do not need to worry about and heading to other goals like looking into the enigma of
space
. Taking everything into account , I
sencerely
Correct your spelling
sincerely
entirely
 agree with the idea of heading to
space
 and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
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 it
due to
 the fact that we do not need more
money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 improve living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 and the need to know about
space
 more for our future

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and gives the reader a preview of the main points you will discuss in the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points and strengthen your argument.
lexical resource
Work on expanding your range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to enhance your clarity and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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