IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is important for people to take risks,both in their professional lives and their personal lives Dobyou think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #dobyou
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As human beings,We always struggle to achieve our targets.
Sor
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So
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 far
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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,we
face
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have faced
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 a lot of difficulties
through
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in
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this
Linking Words
 way.
People
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 argue that it is important to take
risks
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 in their
peoponal
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personal
proposal
 and professional
lives
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.In my opinion,I truly believe and I think the disadvantages. Supporting my agreement,I firmly believe that
risk takers
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risk-takers
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 develop their
problem solving
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problem-solving
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skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 quickly.We always manage our both professional
lives
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 and personal
lives
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 by accepting difficulties.It may lead to encounter challenges and build a strong person with lots of skills.
Hence
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,I think that
people
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 who take
risks
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 grow faster than others.In fact,
businessman
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businessmen
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 move
foreward
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forward
 and achieve more by solving different
kind
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kinds
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 of problems throughout
the
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apply
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life
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. Explaining some of
the
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apply
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another supporting points
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another supporting point
other supporting points
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 in favour
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this
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of this
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 statement,It is true that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 who
are taking
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take
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risks
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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 can achieve something in
life
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.Because we all have a set of dreams and targets in our own
lives
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.
Hence
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,regardless of the
difficulties
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difficulties,
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people
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 should try out the
risks
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 that meet in the path.
Otherwise
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,
people
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 can stay at
same
Add an article
the same
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 level in the professional
carriers
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careers
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as well as
Linking Words
 personal
lives
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,as human beings,
people
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 should always accept targets and drawbacks to go forward and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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achieve something in
life
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. In conclusion,I think that the advantages of taking
risks
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 outweigh the disadvantages.I believe that
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
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 points
are
Verb problem
apply
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strongly
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
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 my
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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Submitted by chamodimadushika2223 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to explicitly state whether the advantages or disadvantages of taking risks outweigh each other in the introduction or conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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