IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, there are growing figures of
advertisements
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 from many companies with different types of
products
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 which are shown to attract public attention. Some
people
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 believe that many customers are influenced by the
advertisements
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.
This
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 essay will discuss why I completely agree with
this
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 proposition and the actions that can be taken to protect them. There are many ways to advertise
products
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 to
people
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. Television, radio, internet
also
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 social media are some of the tools that can be used to introduce
products
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.
However
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, in
this
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 era, many companies
also
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use
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 data from the internet to not only give
people
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information
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 to
use
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 a
product
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 but
also
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influence
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 them to
use
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 the
product
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.
For example
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, as a user of social media, I realize that there are many influencers who
use
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 data in social media to
influence
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people
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 using their
products
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. Evidence of
this
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 is provided by many
products
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 becoming viral
although
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 they do not have good qualities.
Thus
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,
this
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 condition showed us, how
advertisements
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 can
influence
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 consumers. Bad advertisement happens when there is missing or even false
information
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is
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apply
show examples
given to the consumer. So, in order to protect the customer, we need an institution to examine the commercial before it is read or watched by the
people
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.
For instance
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, if there is wrong
information
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 that came from an influencer about a
product
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, he or she can be reported to a certain institution.
Therefore
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, it can minimize the number of publics who are affected by bad
advertisements
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. In conclusion, many publications are produced to
influence
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 customers in the society. I agree that those kinds of
product
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 commercials can
influence
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 many
people
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 in many ways so an institution is needed to protect
people
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 from false
information
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay. Use linking phrases more effectively to create better cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, make sure they more explicitly state the essay's argument and summarize the main points respectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Remember to develop your main points with more specific examples and explanations to fully support your argument.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task more thoroughly by expanding on the extent of influence advertisements have on consumers and on the measures that can be taken for protection.
Task Achievement
Illustrate your points with detailed and relevant examples based on your knowledge or experience to strengthen the arguments presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising campaign
  • celebrity endorsement
  • psychological manipulation
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertisement
  • digital marketing
  • social proof
  • peer review
  • consumer trust
  • brand loyalty
  • misleading advertisement
  • government regulation
  • consumer protection
  • media literacy
  • ad-blocker
  • privacy settings
  • informed choice
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • consumer awareness
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