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Band 4

Millions of dollars spent on research every years. some people argues that the money should be spent of improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree

#millions #dollars #research #years #people #money #standards #earth
Whether or not, focusing on
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 million dollars to enhance
living
Add an article
the living
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
standards for the world is a controversial discussion point.
This
 writer argues that they should have a position for
Earth
due to
 the revenues it
is take
Wrong verb form
takes
show examples
 from
Earth
 and have to develop
economic
Replace the word
economics
show examples
 or policy, which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
residences
Replace the word
residents
show examples
 from all over the world. It is vital to understand that
Earth
 is a spectacular planet to live
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 and have a significant challenge rather than
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spend more money on space.
This
 is because, almost all
countries
 can deal with inflation
cause
Change the form of the verb
caused
show examples
 by pandemics, disasters, economic decrease,….
However
, not all a variety of individuals can receive about carefulness of government they
loss identify
Replace the word
lose identity
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 of personal, illegal immigration,… So attention on money to improve
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
 of living that support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all citizens on
Earth
 and raise hand make
countries
 have a positive effect on
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
, security, environment,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
,….
However
, some suggest that investing
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
show examples
 dollars
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 development spacing
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 more revenues for
countries
. THE MAIN REASON IS FOR
THIS
 THINKING THAT
THIS
 IS A
RELISTIC
Correct your spelling
REALISTIC
 COMPETITION ON RACING OUT OF THE
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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. In the future, some developed
countries
 will
expend
Correct your spelling
expand
show examples
 life on other
planet
Fix the agreement mistake
planets
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 and can tackle the population
may be
Verb problem
by
show examples
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 new technologies for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
.
In addition
, individuals definitely will worry about
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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, vegetables, oxygen gases,
meats
Correct word choice
and meats
show examples
,…
According to
 prior research, some outcomes which
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 did in zero gravity to be independent from now on. In conclusion, if governments have a big goal to make people
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happier, they will solve
this
 serious problem.
THEREFORE
, IT SHOULD
BE
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
HAVE BEEN DEMONSTRATED THAT
HAPPINIESS
Correct your spelling
HAPPINESS
 OR SADNESS WILL
BE
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
DEPEND ON WHAT THE GOVERNMENT DO.
Submitted by [email protected] on

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task response
The essay does not fully respond to the prompt. It is important to clearly state your position and provide arguments and examples to support it.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay can be improved. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea, and use transitional devices to connect the ideas.
lexical resource
The essay lacks variety in vocabulary and shows errors in word choice. Try to use more appropriate and precise words to convey your ideas.
grammatical range
There are several grammatical errors throughout the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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