Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are equally responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction
Nowadays, numerous youngsters have started to develop a lifestyle
that is
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not healthy. I totally agree that both
parents
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and
schools
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share the responsibility to help
children
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to adopt a healthy lifestyle.
This
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essay will discuss the roles of
parents
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and
schools
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in
children
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's lives.
Body paragraph 1
The primary role of
parents
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is to make the household environment as healthy as possible.
For instance
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,
food
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that is
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cooked for all meals must be full of vitamins and protein so young people are able to develop their physical health.
In addition
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,
parents
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can encourage their kids to participate in any team sports, so they can grow up properly and burn calories. These behaviours must be incorporated from a young age in order to be implemented and sustained into adulthood.
Finally
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,
children
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who are exposed to a healthy environment will have the ability to make better choices to lead a positive lifestyle.
Conclusion
On the same premise,
schools
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influence the type of
food
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choices that students make every day.
For example
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, healthy
food
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can be provided in the school's cafeteria,
such
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as sandwiches that cover their daily needs of nutrients.
Furthermore
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, healthy nutrition needs to be incorporated into the school's curriculum,
such
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as adding a subject that teaches students how impactful healthy
food
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is.
To conclude
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,
although
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individuals eventually make their own choices, I strongly agree that
parents
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and
schools
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share the primary responsibility for shaping
children
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's health. By combining a supportive home environment with nutritious school meals and effective health education, young people can develop lifelong positive habits. Ultimately,
this
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joint effort is indispensable for ensuring the long-term physical well-being of future generations.

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task response
Your view is clear from the start: both parents and schools have a shared duty. To make the answer stronger, explain more clearly why the duty is equal, not just what each side can do.
task response
Develop the school point further. You could add how sport lessons, play time, or school rules on food can help children be more active each day.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For example, say that parents can limit sweet drinks at home, while schools can stop the sale of junk food in the canteen.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear order: introduction, parents, schools, and conclusion. Keep this plan, as it makes your ideas easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
The link between the two body parts could be smoother. Instead of “On the same premise,” use a simple link such as “Schools also have an important role.”
coherence and cohesion
Some long sentences carry too many ideas. Split them into two shorter sentences so each point is easier to read. Also leave a space after every full stop.
task response
You answer the main question directly and keep your view the same throughout the essay.
task response
Your ideas are relevant: healthy meals, sport, school food, and health lessons all fit the topic well.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main focus, which helps the reader understand your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion brings the main ideas together and restates your view clearly.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • growing concern
  • crucial role
  • addressing this issue
  • promote healthy habits
  • educational programs
  • physical activities
  • establish healthy routines
  • nutritious meals
  • collaboration
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