You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

It is believed by some echelons that playing boxing in the modern
age
is not appropriate, because it precipitates in serious injury as it is a blood sport. I strongly disagree with
this
statement, because
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
boxing
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
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early
age
not only
train
Correct subject-verb agreement
trains
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youngsters about
self-defenece
Correct your spelling
self-defence
,
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apply
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but
also
assists in raising
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
of the nation.I will
exatiate
Correct your spelling
expatiate
satiate
my reasons in upcoming paragraphs with lucid examples. To commence
with
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apply
show examples
, boxing plays
huge
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a huge
show examples
role in training
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters about
self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
show examples
, because knowing about
defense
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defence
show examples
is very crucial in today's world. To elucidate,
according to
the survey held , 40% of the women opted for boxing during
physical-violance
Correct your spelling
physical violence
, which resulted in creating fear among other men.
Therefore
, if in young
age
folks know how to stay safe during
emergency
Add an article
an emergency
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,
then
it will be a boon in their later
age
.
Moreover
, injury can heal better
in
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at
show examples
young
Correct article usage
a young
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age
as during old
age
it will be sluggish. So thriving
punch- kick
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punch-kick
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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at
Correct article usage
a matured
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matured
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mature
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age
will always be a merit,
otherwise
such
imperative sports will
be vanished
Wrong verb form
vanish
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soon.
In addition
to
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apply
show examples
, boxing is not a mundane activity. It takes massive training and monetary to promote
such
events. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, MME's
turn-over
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turnover
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was the
most high
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highest
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rated revenue
than
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of
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any other sport in 2022.
As a result
,
such
sports should never be obsoleted. Because
,
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apply
show examples
these are helping the nation to boost the revenue. In
nutshell
Correct article usage
a nutshell
show examples
, eradicating
blood based
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blood-based
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sports is not the solution, as these are helping the country to uphill the economy and teaching the
sportmen
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
sport
about
self -defense
Correct your spelling
self-defense
show examples
.
Submitted by rajvir on

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Task response
Expand on the reasons and provide more specific examples to support your points.
Coherence & cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present in your essay.
Lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structures.
Grammatical range
Pay attention to grammar and sentence construction.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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