Why are mental health issues becoming more prevalent and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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The topic of mental health issues has sparked debate in modern times

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since their prevalence is rising at an alarming rate among individuals of all ages. Psychological distress stems from numerous reasons, which are detailed below,

along with

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some measures to mitigate it.

Firstly

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, an unbalanced work routine is one of the primary causes of psychological issues,

such

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as stress.

For instance

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, a psychologist recently published an article which said that 85% of adults are diagnosed with chronic stress and mental strain

due to

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excessive work.

Moreover

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, to resolve

this

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problem, governments should enforce strict rules and regulations, which apply sanctions to the companies that allow employees not to work more than 8 hours a day.

This

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approach will surely have a long-lasting effect,

thus

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leading to a decrement in the levels of stress.

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, another potential aetiology is the overuse of smartphones or electronic devices, especially by teenagers.

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, a cross-sectional study was carried out among university students. The results showed a prolific increase in the prevalence of depression resulting from the overconsumption of social media,

hence

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supporting the aforementioned viewpoint.

Furthermore

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, one of the important preventive strategies to overcome

this

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challenge includes raising awareness regarding the correct usage of social networking sites among the public through campaigns and even individual counselling, which will positively influence people;

therefore

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, gradually decreasing the prevalence of mental health problems. To recapitulate, demanding job schedules and spending too much time on social media are the dominant causes of deteriorating mental well-being.

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, these concerns can be addressed by the implementation of policies protecting the rights of labour and certain public health initiatives.

chahsangill60Thu Apr 10 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider providing a more detailed introduction that outlines the key points you will discuss in the body of your essay. This could help the reader to follow your argument more easily.

Task Achievement

Try to strengthen your final point by summarizing the key measures in a more impactful way. This will enhance the conclusion's effectiveness.

Task Achievement

Enhance the examples you provide with specific data or further explanation to illustrate your points. For example, further statistics or studies would bolster your argument regarding the effects of smartphone use on mental health.

Task Achievement

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides relevant causes and solutions for mental health issues.

Coherence and Cohesion

The structure is well-organized, with clear paragraphs that separate main ideas effectively, contributing to overall clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Why are mental health issues becoming more prevalent and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Include an introduction and conclusion

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the Internet is responsible for destroying social skills of teenagers and young adults. What impact does the internet have on the social skills of teenagers and young adults and what can be done to make sure that it does not harm their social development?

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuel should be the most important global priority today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?