obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

#obesity #countries #effects

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Obesity

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is becoming more widespread in many parts of the world these days.

This

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essay will provide the cause and potential measures related to

this

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tendency. There are a variety of different causes for

this

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matter.

To begin

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with, the main reason

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for

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being overweight is an unhealthy eating pattern.

Individuals

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who are undergoing

obesity

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often have an unhealthy diet which includes the consumption of sweet, oily foods that can highly affect the amount of calories gained.

For example

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, consuming sugary desserts

such

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as cupcakes can result in more weight compared to eating healthier options

such

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as salads or vegetables. Another contributing factor is the lack of exercise. Being active daily is crucial to achieving a healthy lifestyle and foremost preventing

obesity

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. Despite these circumstances, there are several solutions that each individual can use to solve the problem.

Firstly

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, a simple solution is alternating the eating diet. It is encouraged by many scientists working in the field that eating healthier options can allow

individuals

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to lose weight more effectively.

Individuals

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can do

this

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by replacing food that can have high calories with healthier options that provide more nutrition.

Furthermore

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, another measure

individuals

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can to to mitigate the rate of being overweight is to have exercise time. Having workout time results in muscle building

therefore

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potentially solving the issue of

obesity

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. In conclusion, the problem of being overweight is unlikely to be eliminated in the short term.

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, various actions can be taken into consideration to reduce the effects it is having on the current society.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Wed Nov 01 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses all aspects of the topic and stays on topic throughout.

coherence cohesion

Use appropriate linking words and sentence structures to demonstrate a clear and logical flow of ideas.

lexical resource

Increase the range and accuracy of vocabulary used, avoiding repetition.

grammatical range

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy foods more. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?