Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many
people
suppose that a good method to bring individuals from a variety of nations or stages of life is
music
. I totally agree with
this
opinion because of some reasons that will be stated in
this
essay. On the one hand,
music
is a universal language for everyone regardless of different origins or language barriers. The emotions and ideas behind a song can be easily understood by
people
from diverse cultural backgrounds.
Therefore
, they will be able to connect on a deep emotional level. More than that,
music
plays a central part in social and communal gatherings
such
as festivals, concerts, family gatherings and the like. It makes social relationships bonder and creates a sense of belonging between participants.
For instance
, at a musical concert, youngsters who speak different languages feel comfortable and get involved in a dynamic atmosphere
while
enjoying their favourite artist’s performance.
Moreover
,
music
can evoke strong emotions in individuals of all ages and backgrounds.
For example
, songs composed about family bonds always make audiences feel related to and even touched. In recent decades,
people
have used
music
as a therapy for anyone who has to cope with various physical and emotional challenges. In fact, lots of patients have found healing and connection thanks to
this
method.
As a result
, their health becomes better physically
as well as
mentally. In conclusion, even though there are
people
who think that other factors might affect on, I believe that
music
plays a key role in shortening the gap between various generations and societies.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear central topic and that the subsequent sentences elaborate on that topic in a structured way.
coherence cohesion
Support the main points with more detailed and specific examples to strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
Address the prompt directly and develop ideas fully to maintain a strong task response throughout the essay.
task achievement
Attempt to use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall clarity and articulation of points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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