In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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In contemporary society, advancements in technology and medical science have increased
life
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expectancy significantly. A number of individuals argue that prolonged
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life-span
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life span
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results in senior citizens being accompanied by some challenges for authorities,
while
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others believe in benefiting from the experienced population for the prosperity of society.
Also
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, I think advantages are compensating drawbacks in
this
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essay I will explore both these views.
It is clear that
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increasing the
life
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expectancy would accompany some challenges for both governments and the immediate members of families.
Firstly
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, paying the retired population’s pension or covering insurance expenses would pose a financial burden to governments.
For example
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, 200
milliard
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million
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Rial
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Rials
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of the total budget of my country Iran, was allocated for paying pensions in 2022.
Secondly
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, if senior individuals are afflicted with physical or mental disabilities, their children would have to allocate more time to take care of their parents.
However
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, I wholeheartedly believe that the senior crowds could result in tremendous benefits for society and the convenience of their children. Since having a job has become inevitable for parents to afford
life
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expenditures, taking the responsibility of looking after grandchild by their grandparents could facilitate
life
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affairs for the workforce.
Furthermore
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, elderly populations could prevent spending redundant time and energy on various issues by guiding younger generations with their invaluable experiences.
Thus
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,
this
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group could play a crucial role in training a cautious and wise generation, resulting in the prosperity of the world. In conclusion,
although
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the
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apply
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senior individuals will lead
in
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apply
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some caring challenges or pose governments with financial pressure, the benefits of their existence are infinite, resulting in tremendous
advadvantages
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advantages
in societies.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's opinion on whether the advantages or disadvantages of having an aging population outweigh the other.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the points made in the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make the essay more interesting and varied.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid mistakes and improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
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