In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

In contemporary society, advancements in technology and medical science have increased
life
expectancy significantly. A number of individuals argue that prolonged
life-span
Correct your spelling
life span
show examples
results in senior citizens being accompanied by some challenges for authorities,
while
others believe in benefiting from the experienced population for the prosperity of society.
Also
, I think advantages are compensating drawbacks in
this
essay I will explore both these views.
It is clear that
increasing the
life
expectancy would accompany some challenges for both governments and the immediate members of families.
Firstly
, paying the retired population’s pension or covering insurance expenses would pose a financial burden to governments.
For example
, 200
milliard
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
Rial
Fix the agreement mistake
Rials
show examples
of the total budget of my country Iran, was allocated for paying pensions in 2022.
Secondly
, if senior individuals are afflicted with physical or mental disabilities, their children would have to allocate more time to take care of their parents.
However
, I wholeheartedly believe that the senior crowds could result in tremendous benefits for society and the convenience of their children. Since having a job has become inevitable for parents to afford
life
expenditures, taking the responsibility of looking after grandchild by their grandparents could facilitate
life
affairs for the workforce.
Furthermore
, elderly populations could prevent spending redundant time and energy on various issues by guiding younger generations with their invaluable experiences.
Thus
,
this
group could play a crucial role in training a cautious and wise generation, resulting in the prosperity of the world. In conclusion,
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior individuals will lead
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some caring challenges or pose governments with financial pressure, the benefits of their existence are infinite, resulting in tremendous
advadvantages
Correct your spelling
advantages
in societies.
Submitted by golriiz23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the writer's opinion on whether the advantages or disadvantages of having an aging population outweigh the other.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the points made in the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to make the essay more interesting and varied.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid mistakes and improve clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ageing population
  • benefits
  • disadvantages
  • advantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • contribution
  • economy
  • society
  • healthcare
  • youth employment
  • community
  • intergenerational support
  • volunteerism
  • mentorship
  • increased demand
  • pension costs
  • social welfare systems
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • intergenerational conflict
  • technological adaptability
  • dependency
  • effective
  • skill development
  • employment opportunities
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • communication
  • lifelong learning
  • technological literacy
  • age-friendly
  • social policies
  • infrastructure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: