It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environments, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
day and age, researchers and visitors are now able to travel to distant isolated
areas
thanks to the rapid development of technology.
While
this
trend can bring several benefits, I would argue that it has significantly greater drawbacks. On the one hand, there are several upsides of going to remote natural
areas
.
Firstly
,
this
is a newer and more interesting type of travel.
In particular
, going to cities or other places has been common for most
people
.
For example
, having a journey to the Amazon Forest or the South Pole is an extremely attractive choice, which could bring great experiences and unforgettable memories.
Secondly
, when individuals visit remote
areas
, they might acquire knowledge about natural habitats. A good case for
this
is that if travelling to the North Pole, scientists could possibly have a deep understanding of the life of Polar Bears that live far away from humans.
On the other hand
, I contend that the downsides of
this
phenomenon are much greater.
First,
going to isolated
areas
will be quite challenging for
people
who do not have enough experience.
For instance
, the temperature at the South Pole is always very low, which could adversely affect
people
's health, if they do not bring enough necessary clothes.
In addition
, going to places that are isolated from the world will cost a huge amount of money, which could solely suit
people
who are scientists or the wealthy. In conclusion,
although
there are some positive aspects of travelling to distant isolated
areas
, I believe that the demerits of
this
trend overshadow its merits.
Submitted by huynhthienlam1805 on

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task response
You have addressed the task and presented arguments for both the advantages and disadvantages of traveling to remote natural environments. However, you need to provide a clear opinion in your introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point. However, you could improve coherence by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is satisfactory, but you could enhance it by incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range and accuracy are generally sound, but there are some instances of errors and awkward phrases. Review your essay carefully to correct these mistakes.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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