IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or the antartic. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for tourist who visit these places.

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Nowadays, there is an increasing trend of tourists wanting to visit places that are hard to reach and uninhabited. People might do so to conduct scientific research about these
areas
Use synonyms
 and to predict changes that might occur in the future.
However
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, doing so
also
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 comes with its downfalls as these people may face challenges and dangers during these visits. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of tours to
such
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 difficult
areas
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, an incline in tourism to uninhabited places like the Sahara desert or Antarctica might be advantageous to find out more about the habitat and history of these places.
For example
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, to find out whether life was ever possible in
such
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 regions and vanished later on
due to
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 extremely harsh weather conditions, or were these
areas
Use synonyms
 devoid of living beings from the start.
Also
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, as we all know that global warming has affected the whole earth, it could be immensely useful to measure its outcomes on these kinds of regions to predict and calculate what we might face in the future. To support
this
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 fact, multiple articles have been published in environmental journals during the past couple of years about how the glaciers in Antarctica are vanishing both in size and volume.
Also
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, an extreme rise and fall of temperature in the Sahara desert and its effect on the quality of land has
also
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 been reported in
such
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 magazines.
However
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,
while
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 visiting these belts could be useful for scientific purposes, doing so comes with drawbacks as well. These adventures are full of associated perils,
for instance
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, wild animals
such
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 as polar bears in Antarctica and venomous snakes in the Sahara desert have been reported on various occasions to attack the research team members despite that the precautionary measures were taken beforehand.
Moreover
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, the unavailability of hygiene facilities, food, and medical supplies can make it quite gruelling to tackle any kind of emergency situation and may prove life-threatening.
To conclude
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, we can say that touring the far-flung and hard-to-reach
areas
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 of the Earth could be a very fruitful but arduous task.
While
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such
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 activities contribute to our knowledge and may help us be proactive to save the Earth before all natural resources are depleted,
this
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 can
also
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 prove to be a quite daunting task. In the end, all endeavours should be to preserve the natural habitat as much as possible.

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task achievement
The essay would benefit from a clearer and more concise thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly outline the advantages and disadvantages that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points introduced are equally developed to maintain balance and avoid giving more weight to one side of the argument.
accuracy grammar
Avoid minor grammatical errors and occasional repetition to enhance readability and crafting of sentences further.
task achievement
Excellent use of specific examples to illustrate the points made about the potential scientific benefits of visiting difficult-to-reach areas.
coherence cohesion
Very good logical structure that follows a clear progression from introduction, through main points, to conclusion, which helps guide the reader easily through the argument.
conclusion clarity
Strong conclusion that effectively summarizes the essay and restates the thesis, bringing the discussion full circle.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adventurous tourism
  • extreme environments
  • unique experiences
  • unparalleled natural beauty
  • wildlife encounters
  • climate change
  • conservation efforts
  • eco-friendly
  • local economies
  • job creation
  • hospitality
  • health and safety risks
  • rough terrains
  • medical facilities
  • accidents and emergencies
  • environmental impacts
  • pollution
  • logistical challenges
  • specialized gear
  • experienced travelers
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