Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

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The death rate is high in poor
countries
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due to
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diseases
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and remote access to medication
as well as
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its high
prices
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. It is proposed that drug companies should sell their products for lower
prices
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in these places. In my opinion, the costs should be reduced,
however
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, alternatively, there are other more effective methods that could be introduced to fight the problem in developing regions. It is true that many of the
diseases
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that are causing death are curable,
however
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, if drugs are made accessible, but the environment in which
people
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are living is not made better, the
diseases
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have a higher risk of coming back.
Therefore
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, I agree that by lowering the
prices
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more
people
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in poor
countries
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will be able to afford drugs and
as a result
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increase the chances to stay alive.
Nevertheless
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, factors causing
diseases
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should be minimized,
such
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as creating better sanitation and creating access to clean drinking water to fight the problem of deaths. Another solution is for big drug companies to actively support non-profit organizations to fight inequality in poor
countries
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by donating vaccines to develop
people
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's immune systems for many of the most common
diseases
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.
Although
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this
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practice will not generate profit for the companies, it will create a more responsible image for them. Alternatively, if it is possible, governments in poor
countries
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could subsidize medicine for families with kids or
people
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with low incomes.
To conclude
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, there are many ways to reduce the amount of deaths caused by
diseases
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, which are, in my opinion, more effective than lowering the
prices
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of drugs. These are fighting the causes of
diseases
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, subsidies, and donations in the form of vaccines.
Submitted by katja.otavina on

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task response
Your essay provides a clear and logical response to the given task. You thoroughly discuss the topic and present your opinion in a convincing manner. Well done!
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay is well-organized and easy to follow. However, your introduction and conclusion could be improved. Try to provide a more engaging introduction and a stronger conclusion to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, and you effectively use a variety of words and phrases to express your ideas. However, consider incorporating more complex and advanced vocabulary to elevate the quality of your writing.
grammatical range
In terms of grammatical range and accuracy, your essay is mostly error-free. However, try to pay more attention to subject-verb agreement and the proper use of verb tenses. Additionally, aim to vary your sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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