IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think news has no connection to people’s lives. Therefore, it is a waste of time to read the newspaper and watch television news programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #connection #people’s #lives #waste #time #newspaper #television #programs
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According to
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 some, it is unnecessary to update
news
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 in newspapers or television programs because it has no involvement in people’s lives. To a certain extent, I disagree with
this
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 point of view and
this
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 essay will give
further
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 explanations. On the one hand, there are some relatively useless genres of
news
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 but the public is paying too much attention to them.
Firstly
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, the media reports a tremendous amount of information on celebrities on a daily basis in order to meet the demands of many young people, even when the
news
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 is worthless. In fact, many adolescents are intrigued by the scandal of a rap star or the marriage of two famous singers
whereas
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 it has no connection with their lives and evidently makes no benefit to them.
Secondly
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, there is more and more bad
news
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 with sensational titles and controversial content that have no other aim than to attract views.
For example
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, it might be entertaining to read or watch the
news
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 about a jealous assault in public but
it is clear that
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this
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 sort of information has no value.
On the other hand
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, the public can take significant advantage of
news
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 in many respects. First of all, people can broaden their general knowledge by watching or reading reliable sources of
news
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. As society continuously evolves, so does humanity's knowledge;
therefore
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, without reading or watching the
news
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, the understanding of the public will be out of date and insufficient.
In addition
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, several
news
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 have practical benefits and relate directly to the public.
For example
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, some health bulletins give important information about the location of dengue fever outbreaks
as well as
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 viable protection from mosquitoes so that the residents can be aware of the threat they are facing in order to make appropriate preparations. In conclusion,
although
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 many young people nowadays are focusing on redundant
news
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 about celebrities or sensational stories,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that there are certainly numerous
news
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 that are helpful and closely related to the public.
Submitted by phanhuyhoang278 on

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Task Response
To enhance your score in task achievement, ensure your response directly addresses the prompt throughout the essay. Aim to fully develop your arguments with clear and comprehensive explanations and examples. Each paragraph should reflect careful consideration of how it contributes to the overall task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs are logically ordered and the progression from one idea to the next is smooth. Use a range of linking words effectively and appropriately to guide the reader through your arguments. Additionally, strive for consistent paragraphing with clear topic sentences that are followed by supporting sentences which expand on the topic.
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