When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.
Nowadays,
culture
is an issue that is
less discussed among communities. When many people
migrate to another country
, they have an attitude to pursue the new country
's customs
. However
, others prefer to continue their own traditions
. There seem to be two different look-outs, which we will discuss here and reach a conclusion.
A group of people
like to adapt themselves to the new country
’s costumes because they find the new traditions
, noticeable. In each country
, people
have numerous rituals and traditions
which can be stupendous for foreigners. Furthermore
, some people
prefer to follow the customs
of the new country
because immigrants want to align with the country
they are living in. They point to evidence from countries such
as Christian countries where this
appears to be the case, and Muslim immigrants cherish the birth of Christ as a new year.
However
, proponents of keeping their own customs
, have an opinion that keeping and maintaining their local traditions
is more valuable and important than following new rituals and conventions. This
leads people
not to forget their culture
. People
are obliged to know they should protect their culture
and perpetuate their customs
. Another factor is, that supporters have an idea that customs
and culture
should convey to the next generation. By this
, we mean that customs
will always be maintained in people
’s lives. For example
, if adolescents migrate to another country
they will postulate to follow their own customs
.
In conclusion, I would tend to side with the proponents of keeping their own customs
. It seems to be a logical idea which is essential for generations and the culture
. It would have more negative effects on people
and culture
to follow the customs
of a new country
.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. Make sure to clearly state your preference in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a conclusion paragraph. Be sure to include a brief summary of your main points and a conclusive statement in a separate paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. Your main points are well-supported and the logical structure of your essay is clear.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary and word choice are appropriate throughout the essay.
grammatical range
Your sentence structures are varied and error-free for the most part. However, be careful with subject-verb agreement and sentence fragmentation.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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