When people move to another country, some of them decide to follow the customs of the new country. Others prefer to keep their own customs. Compare these two choices. Which one do you prefer? Support your answer with specific details.

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Nowadays,
culture
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is an issue
that is
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less discussed among communities. When many
people
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migrate to another
country
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, they have an attitude to pursue the new
country
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's
customs
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.
However
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, others prefer to continue their own
traditions
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. There seem to be two different look-outs, which we will discuss here and reach a conclusion. A group of
people
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like to adapt themselves to the new
country
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’s costumes because they find the new
traditions
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, noticeable. In each
country
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,
people
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have numerous rituals and
traditions
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which can be stupendous for foreigners.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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prefer to follow the
customs
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of the new
country
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because immigrants want to align with the
country
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they are living in. They point to evidence from countries
such
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as Christian countries where
this
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appears to be the case, and Muslim immigrants cherish the birth of Christ as a new year.
However
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, proponents of keeping their own
customs
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, have an opinion that keeping and maintaining their local
traditions
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is more valuable and important than following new rituals and conventions.
This
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leads
people
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not to forget their
culture
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.
People
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are obliged to know they should protect their
culture
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and perpetuate their
customs
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. Another factor is, that supporters have an idea that
customs
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and
culture
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should convey to the next generation. By
this
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, we mean that
customs
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will always be maintained in
people
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’s lives.
For example
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, if adolescents migrate to another
country
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they will postulate to follow their own
customs
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. In conclusion, I would tend to side with the proponents of keeping their own
customs
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. It seems to be a logical idea which is essential for generations and the
culture
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. It would have more negative effects on
people
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and
culture
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to follow the
customs
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of a new
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Your introduction lacks a clear thesis statement. Make sure to clearly state your preference in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a conclusion paragraph. Be sure to include a brief summary of your main points and a conclusive statement in a separate paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. Your main points are well-supported and the logical structure of your essay is clear.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary and word choice are appropriate throughout the essay.
grammatical range
Your sentence structures are varied and error-free for the most part. However, be careful with subject-verb agreement and sentence fragmentation.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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