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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, the population of older people is steadily in creasing. Dose this trend have positive or negative effects on society

#countries #population #people #dose #trend #effects #society
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The technology
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Technology
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 change and increasing personal wealth have
coutributed
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contributed
 to
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the improment
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improment
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improvement
 of life
expectation
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expectations
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, and many counties have seen their
poplulation
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population
 ageing at an
unprecendented
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unprecedented
 pace. The problems of
this
Linking Words
 demographic change far outweigh its positive impact. One
problom
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problem
 related to population ageing is that medical
cost
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costs
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 will
increase
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 dramatically and hurt the economy. The need for medical care
as well as
Linking Words
 the spending on it
tend
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tends
show examples
 to
increase
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 with age. Elderly
people
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 are prone to health problems
such
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 as
hart
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heart
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diseases
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disease
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, diabetes and
cancers
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cancer
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, so a country with a large
poplulation
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population
 of
people
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 over 65 has to
increase
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 the expenditure on medical services to treat age-related problems.
This
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 will lead to a
buget
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budget
 cut to education,
infrastrue
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intrastate
 projects and
science
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scientific
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researchs
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research
, which can
effect
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affect
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the
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apply
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society adversely not only in the quality of life but
also
Linking Words
 in long-term economic growth. Another problem is that the productivity of the whole county will drop as the number of senior citizens
Use synonyms
increase
Change the verb form
increases
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.
A
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An
show examples
 ageing society
tend
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tends
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 to suspend the
retire
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retirement
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 age to keep
pension
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the pension
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 scheme running,
the
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apply
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older
people
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 make up a large portion of
workforce
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the workforce
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 in these countries. These older
people
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however
Linking Words
 struggle from declined memory capacity and other conditions which can limit their ability to process information and handle work. If they delay
retirment
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retirement
, their poor
performace
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performance
 may have
a
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an
show examples
 adverse impact on
companies
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the company's
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 profitability.
This
Linking Words
 can result in
economic
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the economic
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problem
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problems
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metioned ealier
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mentioned earlier
 and have
adverse
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an adverse
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 impact on social progress.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it is possible to tap into the wisdom and experience of
elderly
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the elderly
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. Having worked for decades, they are
expert
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experts
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 in their field of work and have practical experience, specialist knowledge and work-related tips that they can share with
yonger
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younger
 generations.
For example
Linking Words
, senior
buisiness
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business
 managers can teach
yong
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young
people
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 how to manage a company and
to
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apply
show examples
deal with
compliants
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complaints
 and questions
of
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from
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 clients. In
conclution
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conclusion
, a
rapidly-ageing
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rapidly ageing
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polulation
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population
 can impose a strain on
medical
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the medical
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 system and reduce the productivity of a
county
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country
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. these issues
is
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are
show examples
 not easy to be tackled
although
Linking Words
 the wisdom of elderly
people
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 can yield benefits for society.
Submitted by ielts_winner on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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