IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

“Public libraries should only provide books and should not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?”

#“public #libraries #books #waste #resources #media #software #videos #dvds
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most of the libraries are used for
books
 because it has enough resources for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
However
, it is
belief
Replace the word
believed
show examples
 that
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
define
Replace the word
defined
show examples
 assets
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on digital tools
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 merely overdoing. It is important to use
technology
 devices in the
library
 building so that
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
get
Verb problem
can
show examples
 acquire knowledge from it.
This
 essay will explain
further
 in the following paragraphs. A plethora of
books
 are available in the reference center and they provide on different subjects.
Besides
this
, to gather
information
 many students
goes
Change the verb form
go
show examples
 to their nearby
library
 and they don’t find exact
information
 because of
out-dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
books
. To illustrate, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
 different software is used by students for
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
information
.
consequently
, it helps to take guidance from
technology
. If the government give funds to the
library
 it would be beneficial for the young students. Some people prefer to study in the
library
 because they have no
technology
 machines in their homes. In the
technology
 time pupils
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 required for technical tools to prepare their assignments.
Therefore
, they incline to the
library
 building to obtain
update
Replace the word
updated
show examples
information
. If folks give
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
 to the building
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it will build a room for
computer's
Change noun form
computer
show examples
 research. In a nutshell, some librarians think that
books
 are enough in the building and
it doesn't
Wrong verb form
don't
show examples
 require other materials as it is
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of capital. I disagree
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
 notion because many libraries have still
out-dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
books
 and youngsters
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 current statistics for
this
. I think it should provide the
technology
 machines for humans to get
latest
Change the article
the latest
show examples
 knowledge.
Submitted by mobinadurrani43 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the given topic and fully develops the arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Organize the essay with clear paragraphs and logical transitions to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and aim for more precise and academic language.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and improve clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: