Some children spend hours everyday on their smart phones. Why is this the case?Do you think this is a possitive or negative development?
In today's world, it is common to see
children
spending several hours
daily on their smartphones
. This
phenomenon has attracted both positive and negative opinions from various individuals. This
essay will explore the reasons why this
is happening and argue that it is more of a negative development
.
One reason why children
spend many hours
on their smartphones
is their easy access to social media
. Social media
platforms such
as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram provide children
with a platform to connect with their peers and share their daily experiences. They can chat, and share photos and videos, and this
gives them a sense of belonging and connectedness. This
can be positive in some instances, but it can be harmful to a great extent as children
can be exposed to cyberbullying, inappropriate content, and even addiction to social media
.
Another reason why children
spend many hours
on their smartphones
is the availability of entertainment options. Children
can download games, music, and movies on their smartphones
and spend several hours
watching, listening, or playing. This
may be perceived as positive on the ground, but it can be highly negative as it takes away the time that should be spent on other activities such
as homework, sports, or socializing with friends.
Considering the effects of this
trend, we can say that it is a negative development
as it can expose children
to cyberbullying, and addiction to social media
, and can distract them from important academic and skill development
activities.
In conclusion, children
spending long hours
on their smartphones
is a negative development
. Although
there are some benefits such
as staying connected with peers and access to entertainment, the negative impacts outweigh the positive ones. It is crucial for parents and guardians to monitor their children
's smartphone use and ensure that they spend enough time on activities that promote their growth and development
.Submitted by aikumarbekarys on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay addresses the task prompt and presents a clear and comprehensive response. However, you could provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally good, with clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points are well-supported. However, consider organizing your ideas more effectively by using cohesive devices and transition words.
lexical resource
Your essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with appropriate use of academic language. However, you could enhance your lexical resource by utilizing more advanced vocabulary and incorporating varied sentence structures.
grammatical range
Your essay showcases a solid grasp of grammar and sentence structures, with minimal errors. However, strive to include more complex sentence structures and utilize a wider range of grammar tenses and verb forms.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.