Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree of disagree? Write at least 250 words.

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Nowadays the
food
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and drink being consumed contain too much sugar which leads to multiple health issues. Some
people
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argue that we should increase the price of sugary
items
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to help
people
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eat less sugar. I agree to some extent with the statement. Increasing the price of sugary
items
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discourages
people
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from buying them.
This
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is because of the current climate where
people
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prefer to spend money on products that are cost-effective and cost-saving.
For instance
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, in the UK,
due to
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current austerity measures,
people
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are increasingly choosing to spend money on
food
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items
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that are cheaper rather than expensive. If sugary products are made more expensive,
people
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will be naturally discouraged from buying them.
Furthermore
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, introducing high prices for sugary goods will
also
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reduce the multiple health problems associated with their consumption.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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argue that they will not be stopped from buying unhealthy snacks
due to
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their freedom and free will.
This
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is because
people
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would continue to buy the
items
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even though they have been made expensive. To illustrate
this
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, Scandinavian countries
such
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as Norway, Sweden, Iceland and Denmark abandoned policies to increase the prices of sugary products
due to
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lack of acceptance from their citizens.
Furthermore
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, they argued that they would continue to buy unhealthy
food
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and beverages because their freedom to choose is paramount.
To conclude
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, I believe that
food
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and beverages that contain high levels of sugar should be increased, but
people
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’s freedom and choices should be taken into consideration.
Submitted by mraha409 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task prompt and maintains focus throughout. However, ensure that all main points are fully supported with detailed examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
While your essay follows a logical structure and is easy to follow, improving the linking between ideas in some paragraphs will enhance coherence. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices will add depth to your writing.
task achievement
Consider expanding on counterarguments and balancing them with your own views more precisely to provide a fuller response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a well-structured essay with clear introduction and conclusion paragraphs, which makes it easier to understand your argument.
task achievement
Your use of real-world examples, such as the example from Scandinavian countries, adds credibility to your argument and engages the reader.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
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