Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual
thought
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that sports like skydiving and skiing are not safe and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that should not be allowed. I consider myself an opponent of
this
perspective
due to
a couple of
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
that I am going to discuss in
this
essay.
Firstly
, so-called dangerous sports are not as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangerous as a lot of
people
think. They require hard training,
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
materials and of course being in mental and physical health.
For example
, it is need to do some training courses and
jumpings
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jump
show examples
with a professional before
do
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apply
show examples
parachuting by yourself.
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
show examples
the
equipemt
Correct your spelling
equipment
is
allways
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always
checked by two
people
, to ensure
the
Change the word
its
show examples
quality and if it is properly installed.
Therefore
,
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
who
knows
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know
show examples
what they are doing the chances of it going bad are really small.
Secondly
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Secondly,
show examples
extreme athletes are conscious about the kind of sport that they are doing and the
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
that may have.
However
non-experimental
people
doesn't
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don't
show examples
have
this
in mind.
Such
us beginner
skier
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skiers
show examples
or
snowboarder
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snowboarders
show examples
that got out off-piste and they don't have enough experience.
This
selfish act
,
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apply
show examples
put
recue
Correct your spelling
rescue
equipment's
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equipments
equipment
show examples
in danger.
Moreover
,
this
have
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has
show examples
a huge cost that may not
include
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be included
show examples
in the insurance that they paid because it is off-piste. In conclusion, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that
banned
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
sports
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is not the solution,
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
I think that
concern
Replace the word
concerning
show examples
inhabitants about the danger and effects of doing these activities without preparation
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is vital and
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
efective
Correct your spelling
effective
result.
Submitted by bertavicedovillarraso on

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the question prompt are addressed.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a clear and logical structure. Use appropriate paragraphing.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied expressions.
grammatical range
Pay attention to your sentence structure and grammar usage. Use a variety of sentence types and avoid errors.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adrenaline rush
  • risk threshold
  • thrill-seeking
  • safety protocols
  • hazard assessment
  • adventure tourism
  • regulatory framework
  • personal autonomy
  • informed consent
  • risk mitigation strategies
  • thrill-seeking behavior
  • protective gear
  • extreme athleticism
  • freedom of choice
  • accident prevalence
  • emergency response
  • courage and resilience
  • endorphin release
  • legal implications
  • peer pressure effects
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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