59.Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #individuals #want

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It is argued that publicity makes individuals stop being different and makes

people

Use synonyms

want to be physically and mentally the same as others.

This

Linking Words

essay completely agrees with

this

Linking Words

statement because advertising persuades

people

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to buy the same

product

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and tries to make them “special” by buying their

products

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. Normally companies will contact famous

people

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who have a lot of fans to make advertisements for their

products

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because it is easier for celebrities to contact a larger amount of

people

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Also

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, as the

product

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is recommended by someone that the consumers like and trust,

then

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, individuals are willing to buy it even though they do not like it, and

this

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causes a large number of

people

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to have the same things. Recent research concluded, that when

products

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that are endorsed by celebrities are ten times more easily to be sold. There are many clothing, jewellery and bag announcements which show that only a small number of

people

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can have them, and if they buy them,

then

Linking Words

they are special and superior to others.

This

Linking Words

is because companies know what the consumers are looking for, so they try to make the publicity sound like what individuals want, so the brands can increase the

products

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purchased.

For example

Linking Words

, there are many perfume and bag advertisements, in which they will comment that in order to follow modern fashion,

people

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should buy their

product

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since is the most popular

product

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in the world. In conclusion, publicity leads to a huge number of

people

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buying the same

product

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, and because of how the advertisements are made,

people

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are willing to buy

products

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to be more fashionable, I,

therefore

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, believe that announcements make

people

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look alike.

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Thu Nov 02 2023

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Task Response

Though the essay is largely on topic and the ideas are well organised, it would benefit from further developing your ideas. Try to extend or present more perspectives to your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has clear coherence and cohesion, with proper use of introductions and conclusions. However, some paragraphs might benefit more from clear linking sentences to guide the reader through your line of thought.

Lexical Resource

You possess a wide vocabulary, allowing you to express your ideas effectively. But remember using complex words only if they fit naturally into the context. Overcomplication might lead to mistakes. For example, 'publicity' isn't the most suitable way to refer to advertising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Your grammatical range is quite good, but some sentences feel awkward or unnecessarily complex. Try to balance between simple and complex sentences, aiming for clarity above all things.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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59.Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste

completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

You share a parking area with several neighbours and have recently started having problems. Write a letter to be copied to all neighbours that share the parking area. In that letter • explaining the problems • suggesting ways to help the situation • proposing a possible meeting

Some people believe that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.