In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

People

in certain countries feel that owning a

house

rather than renting one is more essential.

This

will be discussed in

this

essay

further

as follows. For some

people

, owning something that will be kept for a long time is a bare minimum thing to do. With that statement, a

house

is a place that someone lives in, for a long period of time, and

that is

why

people

think that owning a

house

is more important than renting.

This

mindset

is not only possessed by a small number of

people

, but it can spread to many others, which is why in certain areas,

people

tend to have the same

mindset

about something.

For example

, in my village, almost all of the villagers are the owner of the

house

that they live in, because they want to possess it.

Nevertheless

, by looking at our

population

growth chart, years later there has been an increase in the

population

which led to a decrease in land that

people

can build a

house

. By that means, having the

mindset

mentioned above sometimes does not result in a good decision.

People

have to be aware of the condition of the area they live in, and can not force their opinion unless they are willing to have another conflict in the future. Take China

for example

, their rapid growth of

population

was the main reason why their land price was so much higher than any other country and even it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

also

cost much to rent an apartment. In conclusion,

People

in some countries prefer owning a

house

rather than renting one, because they have the same

mindset

that believes owning something that will be kept for a long time is necessary, but it can impact to negative situation because of our rapidly growing

population

Submitted by ditajulaikaputri on Fri Nov 03 2023

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coherence cohesion

Overall, your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is clear, and your ideas are well-supported. However, you could improve the flow by using more linking words and phrases.

lexical resource

Your use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement. Try to use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your expression. Additionally, pay attention to collocations and word choice.

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Your grammatical range is generally good, but there are some errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Review grammar rules and structures to improve your accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is common that in many companies people from different ages work together in a same team. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantges?

Developments in science and technology have caused environmental problems.Some people think that a simpler way of life will protect the environment,whileothers believe that science and technology can solve environmental problems.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In many parts of the world people do research in family history. Some people believe that research on the previous generation to be useful while others say that it is better to focus on the present and future generation. Discuss and opinion.