In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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People
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in certain countries feel that owning a
house
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rather than renting one is more essential.
This
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will be discussed in
this
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essay
further
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as follows. For some
people
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, owning something that will be kept for a long time is a bare minimum thing to do. With that statement, a
house
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is a place that someone lives in, for a long period of time, and
that is
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why
people
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think that owning a
house
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is more important than renting.
This
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mindset
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is not only possessed by a small number of
people
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, but it can spread to many others, which is why in certain areas,
people
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tend to have the same
mindset
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about something.
For example
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, in my village, almost all of the villagers are the owner of the
house
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that they live in, because they want to possess it.
Nevertheless
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, by looking at our
population
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growth chart, years later there has been an increase in the
population
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which led to a decrease in land that
people
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can build a
house
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. By that means, having the
mindset
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mentioned above sometimes does not result in a good decision.
People
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have to be aware of the condition of the area they live in, and can not force their opinion unless they are willing to have another conflict in the future. Take China
for example
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, their rapid growth of
population
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was the main reason why their land price was so much higher than any other country and even it
is
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apply
show examples
also
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cost much to rent an apartment. In conclusion,
People
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in some countries prefer owning a
house
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rather than renting one, because they have the same
mindset
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that believes owning something that will be kept for a long time is necessary, but it can impact to negative situation because of our rapidly growing
population
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.
Submitted by ditajulaikaputri on

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task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the question, but it lacks depth and analysis. Try to elaborate on your points and provide more examples.
coherence cohesion
Overall, your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. The logical structure is clear, and your ideas are well-supported. However, you could improve the flow by using more linking words and phrases.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is adequate, but there is room for improvement. Try to use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance your expression. Additionally, pay attention to collocations and word choice.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is generally good, but there are some errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Review grammar rules and structures to improve your accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and sentence structure.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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