Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advertisement and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
The
variety
between nations is becoming less identical. In the present day, citizens
are watching similar movies, styles, brands, advertisements and TV programs. This
writer argues that the drawbacks of the lack of variety
and distinctiveness of culture outweigh the benefits of making relationships.
The most disadvantage factor of the same things is that it can decline the variety
of amenities. Inhabitants may not buy different things which they want to change. It will be boring and fed up with similar situations. Moreover
, sometimes dwellers hope they try various films to discuss their reviews and genres. Regarding fashion, it will make people look better and unique. They can create the first impression of other sights. In terms of brands, there are many companies that advertise and release their products into the market. Humans choose and decide to purchase what they like rather than getting the same ones. About advertisement, they are the main way to come to the community’s knowledge. Citizens
will comprehend their brands and start to go shopping. Besides
that, TV channels are the primary route to entertainment in the present society. Civilization tends to watch various programs to avoid being bored and depressed with the same channels. As a consequence
, citizens
may be frustrated and disappointed with repetitive cases.
The distinctiveness of custom must be considered. It must be recognized that inhabitants often have different cultures in each country. Therefore
, it is a unique image from the tourist’s view. When they travel to other nations, they want to know more customs and traditions of citizens
who have in there for a long time. They can also
learn more knowledge and enhance their geographic horizons. Furthermore
, it also
helps residents retain their customs and avoid dissolving traditions then
losing their culture which is passed down from the previous generation. Correct word choice
and then
As a result
, dwellers should preserve beliefs
of Correct article usage
the beliefs
ancestors
.
Correct pronoun usage
their ancestors
However
, a few people are reluctant to experience various things. They believe that it is a good track in order to make a relationship with each other when they find a person who has the same hobby and passion. This
may be true, but a variety
of products or situations can satisfy the curiosity of civilization. Consequently
, the same cases have a more negative impact on society.
Taking all points into account, the benefit of making a relationship is outweighed by the drawbacks of the variety
and distinctiveness of culture.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of ideas. Some sentences and paragraphs jump from one point to another without a clear connection. Using proper transitions will help make the essay easier to follow.
task achievement
Ensure that each point you make is fully developed and supported with relevant examples. Some ideas are introduced but not fully explored. This can be strengthened with more detailed explanations and concrete examples.
general
Work on refining complex sentences for clarity, as some sentences are difficult to understand due to awkward phrasing or grammatical issues. A clearer expression of ideas will improve the overall readability of the essay.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on whether the disadvantages of cultural homogenization outweigh the advantages.
task achievement
The essay touches on a variety of angles regarding the topic, including cultural distinctiveness, the variety of consumer choices, and the potential benefits of shared interests. This shows an attempt to provide a comprehensive response.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example