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Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#celebrities #money #politicians #development
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In recent years, the income of famous
people
Use synonyms
 has exceeded that of politicians. The reasons for
this
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 are the increasing influence of stars and the disbelief in governments. I personally believe that
this
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 is a negative trend because it can
instill
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instil
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 an unhealthy perspective
about
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on
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 society.
People
Use synonyms
 are now paying more attention to celebrities or KOLs and place a lot of beliefs in these opinions and statements.
Therefore
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, large brands often book famous stars to introduce and review new products in the hope that they can attract more attention from the audience.
On the other hand
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, politicians often have fixed salary ranges and fewer chances to have bonuses.
Moreover
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, they
also
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 need a longer time to reach higher salary ranges than famous
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, Dang Van Lam - a famous goalkeeper in Vietnam was reported to receive 1 billion Vietnam Dong for a single advertisement with the pharmaceutical brand Tiffy
while
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 for a government officer, it took 2-5 years to be promoted to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 salary level. In my opinion, the increasing wealth of stars is a negative development for our society. The reason is that it can create a distorted view for adolescents and make them believe that as long as someone is famous, their statements are always right without considering their expertise or educational background.
For example
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, during the Covid pandemic, lots of citizens in Vietnam believed that eating earthworms could prevent and cure the symptoms of
Covid-19
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COVID-19
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 after a famous singer shared the information on her social media posts even though doctors and the press warned about the negative ramifications of
this
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 act. In conclusion, celebrities are now making more money than politicians
due to
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 their influence and society’s disbelief in governments. The essay holds the belief that
this
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 is a negative development
due to
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 the fact that it can make
people
Use synonyms
 think incorrectly about society.
Submitted by tieuvuphuonghoa on

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task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task prompt.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay with clear and logical paragraph structure.
lexical resource
Diversify the use of vocabulary and demonstrate a wide range of language resources.
grammatical range
Pay more attention to grammar accuracy and complexity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsements
  • revenue streams
  • global presence
  • diversified branding
  • income sources
  • free-market principles
  • market value
  • government budgets
  • public funds
  • public perception
  • value generation
  • bureaucratic
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
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