The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
During
this
post-COVID-19 era, people are increasingly cautious of their personal health
, meanwhile forecasting how
the future average wellness standard will be like in Correct word choice
what
this
rapidly changing society. Therefore
, it has provoked numerous discussions on the transformation of the overall
health
landscape. I, to a large extent, agree that drastic improvements on
Change preposition
in
the
general well-being will be observed as time Correct article usage
apply
proceed
.
There are numerous reasons contributing to Change the verb form
proceeds
a
better public Remove the article
apply
health
for
the future. Change preposition
in
Firstly
, ordinary people are extremely mindful of their physical conditions after COVID-19. The importance of a healthy diet is increasingly emphasized not only in distinct media,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
in the academia, promoting various forms of food intake, such
as keto-diets, vegetarian dishes, Correct word choice
and intermettent
intermettent
fasting. Correct your spelling
intermittent
Furthermore
, the number of gym rooms and fitness centers are
blooming which, Correct subject-verb agreement
is
on the other hand
, implies a drastic demand on
physical Change preposition
for
trainings
. Change the wording
training
pieces of training
Moreover
, various medical advancements on
medicines, therapies, vaccinations and medical devices have cured many diseases that Change preposition
in
are
once detrimental.
Wrong verb form
were
Nonetheless
, opponents may argue that technology
development will hinder physical activities. Replace the word
technological
For example
, nowadays children are extremely attached to video games and computers leading to insufficient physical activities, and hence
resulting in a
poor Remove the article
apply
health
. However
, this
concern is
already addressed by game designers to gamify exercises in their gaming products. At the same time, parents and the government Verb problem
has
are
Verb problem
apply
also
playing
an important role Wrong verb form
play
to propagate
a healthy lifestyle Change preposition
in propagating
within
the Change preposition
among
youths
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
youth
due to
the shift in
a more Change preposition
to
health
-centric mindset and medical advancements, I believe that the whole population will enjoy a healthier and prosperous life in the future. In particular
. all walks of life is
collaborating hand in hand in combating viruses and promoting physical Correct subject-verb agreement
are
well-beings
.Correct your spelling
well-being
Submitted by ardentpicks on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
logical structure
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!