The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

During
this
post-COVID-19 era, people are increasingly cautious of their personal
health
, meanwhile forecasting
how
Correct word choice
what
show examples
the future average wellness standard will be like in
this
rapidly changing society.
Therefore
, it has provoked numerous discussions on the transformation of the
overall
health
landscape. I, to a large extent, agree that drastic improvements
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
general well-being will be observed as time
proceed
Change the verb form
proceeds
show examples
. There are numerous reasons contributing to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better public
health
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the future.
Firstly
, ordinary people are extremely mindful of their physical conditions after COVID-19. The importance of a healthy diet is increasingly emphasized not only in distinct media
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
in the academia, promoting various forms of food intake,
such
as keto-diets, vegetarian dishes,
Correct word choice
and intermettent
show examples
intermettent
Correct your spelling
intermittent
fasting.
Furthermore
, the number of gym rooms and fitness centers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
blooming which,
on the other hand
, implies a drastic demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
physical
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
.
Moreover
, various medical advancements
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
medicines, therapies, vaccinations and medical devices have cured many diseases that
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
once detrimental.
Nonetheless
, opponents may argue that
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
development will hinder physical activities.
For example
, nowadays children are extremely attached to video games and computers leading to insufficient physical activities, and
hence
resulting in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
poor
health
.
However
,
this
concern
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
already addressed by game designers to gamify exercises in their gaming products. At the same time, parents and the government
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
also
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
an important role
to propagate
Change preposition
in propagating
show examples
a healthy lifestyle
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
the
youths
Fix the agreement mistake
youth
show examples
. In conclusion,
due to
the shift
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a more
health
-centric mindset and medical advancements, I believe that the whole population will enjoy a healthier and prosperous life in the future.
In particular
. all walks of life
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
collaborating hand in hand in combating viruses and promoting physical
well-beings
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
.
Submitted by ardentpicks on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
logical structure
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: