IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.
#uk #commuters #car #bus #train
The line graph demonstrates the average figure for UK passengers travelling daily by
car
bus
 or
train
 from 1970 to 2030
Overall
,
it is clear that
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 was the most popular way among
people
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 throughout the period shown.
Also
,
while
 the number of commuters who use
train
Correct article usage
the train
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the main vehicle
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 continually,
this
 figure in
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 was a gradual reduction. At the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
,
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
 had the highest number at about 5
million
 passengers,
while
 the
bus
 and
train
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
 bit lower at approximately 4
million
 and 2
million
 respectively. In 2000, there was not much change in the position of 3 ways. The
car
 leading the trend with 7
million
people
 was used, after that, there was
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 drop
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 0.5
million
 in the figure of railway
commuter
Fix the agreement mistake
commuters
show examples
.
Lastly
, there was a slight growth to 3
million
 in the
bus
 through 30 years. By 2030, the number of
people
 who commute by
car
 is expected
reach
Fix the infinitive
to reach
show examples
 the highest point at 9
million
.
Train
continute
Correct your spelling
continue
 with significant increase and pass over
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 at 4.5
million
. In the future,
people
 tend to use private transport more than public transport like
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 so it drop to 3
million
.
Submitted by nn.dieuquynh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, bus, train, people, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: