IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.

The graph below shows the average number of UK commuters travelling each day by car, bus or train between 1970 and 2030.
#uk #commuters #car #bus #train
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph demonstrates the average figure for UK passengers travelling daily by
car
Use synonyms
bus
Use synonyms
 or
train
Use synonyms
 from 1970 to 2030
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 was the most popular way among
people
Use synonyms
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 throughout the period shown.
Also
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the number of commuters who use
Use synonyms
train
Correct article usage
the train
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 the main vehicle
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 continually,
this
Linking Words
 figure in
Use synonyms
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
 was a gradual reduction. At the
beggining
Correct your spelling
beginning
,
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
show examples
 had the highest number at about 5
million
Use synonyms
 passengers,
while
Linking Words
 the
bus
Use synonyms
 and
train
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
 bit lower at approximately 4
million
Use synonyms
 and 2
million
Use synonyms
 respectively. In 2000, there was not much change in the position of 3 ways. The
car
Use synonyms
 leading the trend with 7
million
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 was used, after that, there was
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 drop
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 0.5
million
Use synonyms
 in the figure of railway
commuter
Fix the agreement mistake
commuters
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there was a slight growth to 3
million
Use synonyms
 in the
bus
Use synonyms
 through 30 years. By 2030, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who commute by
car
Use synonyms
 is expected
reach
Fix the infinitive
to reach
show examples
 the highest point at 9
million
Use synonyms
.
Train
Use synonyms
continute
Correct your spelling
continue
 with significant increase and pass over
Use synonyms
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 at 4.5
million
Use synonyms
. In the future,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to use private transport more than public transport like
Use synonyms
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 so it drop to 3
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nn.dieuquynh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words car, bus, train, people, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: