66.The government should spend money in promoting sports and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree?

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It is argued that the government should use their
money
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to encourage students at
school
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to participate in sports and arts
activities
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instead
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of wasting their
money
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on professional sports and art for the citizens.
This
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essay completely agrees with
this
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statement because there are people with hidden talents and extracurricular
activities
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will better
children
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's attitudes. Not all family have enough
money
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to allow their
children
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to take other courses apart from the mandatory ones.
This
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is because an extra fee needs to be paid for after-
school
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activities
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, and there are families that have used all their
money
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for essential needs and
school
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classes and do not have extra funds.
This
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will cause some
children
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even if they really like an activity, they cannot carry it out, and
as a consequence
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, talent will be hidden. Recent research concluded that around 80% of students can't show their talent in areas that they are interested in.
Children
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should try and look for
activities
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that they are interested in.
This
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is because students at
school
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are full of homework and exams and
this
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will cause them to be stressed,
then
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extracurricular
activities
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, will allow
children
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to do what they like and at the same time make new friends. In
this
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way, stress and bad emotions will not show off, and in the long term,
children
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will be more open-minded.
For example
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, scientists in Spain said that
children
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who carry out after-
school
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activities
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seem to have better behaviour and are more frequently enjoying their everyday
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, talented people should be trained since they are little and
children
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need to undertake
activities
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that they like, I,
therefore
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, believe that the government should support
children
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at
school
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in
activities
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like sport and art.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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task response
Provide a more balanced view by acknowledging the potential benefits of sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout the essay by using paragraphs to separate different ideas.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary and use more precise and specific words and phrases to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and revise any grammar errors or inconsistencies in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Foster early talent
  • Holistic development
  • Accessibility
  • Long-term benefits
  • Socio-economic background
  • Culturally rich society
  • Reduced inequality
  • Community bonding
  • Foundation skills
  • Engaged citizens
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