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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #technology #people #viewpoints
Modern
technology
 comes with its own advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, I would say advanced
technology
 keeps people
together with
 inseparable bonding.
However
, others claim that it has impacted negatively on society. We will discuss both viewpoints in
this
 essay. On the one hand, the latest
technology
 serves the whole world with better connectivity, not just the sense of the internet but leading to bonding positively with others as well through the internet.
Moreover
, social media and a few applications
such
 as WhatsApp, Instagram, and Skype made it extremely easier to stay connected with our family and friends and of course, it will give a person a super joy and
thus
 create healthy relationships in the communities.
For example
,
according to
 the latest data, out of 7 billion people, six billion public are using
technology
such
 as smartphones in an appropriate way so that they can stay in touch with their significantly close ones.
On the other hand
, it can be claimed that sophisticated technologies are not right for humans as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 separate us from each other because of their adverse effects.
Additionally
, The main drawback is the consumption of non-essential applications
similarly
 using too much social media directing us to more loneliness and solitude.
Thus
, one can not enjoy other people's company and tries to stay away from society.
As a result
, study shows that a person who consumes so much advanced
technology
, leads to an abnormal life and
hence
, they lose all the loved ones around them.
To conclude
,
although
 modern
technology
 has some drawbacks,
however
, in my opinion, the latest
technology
 offers the best options to stay connected with our community and we should use it more appropriately.
Submitted by grishma1908 on

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task response
Make sure to address both viewpoints in a balanced way. Provide more comprehensive arguments and examples for each viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using transition words and phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate your language proficiency. Avoid repetitive words and phrases.
grammatical range
Work on using more varied sentence structures and complex grammar to showcase your language skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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