Some people say thay History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subject like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nations have segregated and polarised notions about the matter of vital areas of studying in institutes.A segment of society believes that the dominant school syllabus is history,whilst,others insist on that idea by saying the chief syllabus is an evaluation of science.
While
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each has its own perks, I would contend it is ideal to combine both mentioned factors . The first perspective that narrates the significance of history is backed by traditionalists,they utterly believe the former events connect us with our cultural values , morals and standards.
According to
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doctrine,by gaining
the
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knowledge of the past we can create unity in our societies,as when we are well known for our roots which boast nationalism and brotherhood,
furthermore
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,they are
also
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familiar with their heroes' struggles and determination.
However
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,by going in deep they can
also
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segregate between right and wrong which can allow them to choose their perspectives. On the flip side,proponents of the latter idea reckon that science and technology have a chief role in today's era people, so , it should be considered the chief subject among other departments.As a matter of fact,the role of scientists in terms of making the environment safe and healthier
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cannot be neglected in any era.
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,their main scope is to make individuals' lives easier ,by making various kinds of machines,
such
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as mobile phones which are prime examples of performance in
this
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regard.To illustrate, by having knowledge of the past, we came to know that folks usually travel 100 kilometres to deliver their messages,
nonetheless
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,in
this
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era we deliver our message in any corner of the world with just one tap.
To conclude
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,
although
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both stances have their feasibility and merits,I believe that the idea of learning historical events has become obsolete and carries less fruition.
Therefore
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,people to consider all-embracing and unprejudiced inclinations to learn more about science and technology.
Submitted by notkhan01 on

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task response
Your essay adequately addresses both views and provides a clear opinion. However, try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Your ideas are well connected and organized. However, try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details.
lexical resource
You have a good range of vocabulary and use appropriate academic language. However, make sure to use more precise and specific vocabulary to enhance your arguments.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, with only a few minor errors. However, try to vary your sentence structures and use more complex sentence forms to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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