Schools should use films, computers and games to educate children instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Instead
of teaching with Linking Words
books
, schools should use movies, Use synonyms
games
, laptops and other devices. I strongly agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because they would be able to store more data in one place and they would get entertained as many of them feel that Linking Words
books
are boring.
Use synonyms
Firstly
, students would not have to search multiple Linking Words
books
for particular information. Use synonyms
In other words
, they would have all the information in one place which would save time Linking Words
while
doing their studies. Linking Words
For instance
, Japan has implemented Linking Words
this
strategy, and they have observed that almost thirty per cent of students’ time is saved. Linking Words
Therefore
, I highly agree that Linking Words
books
should be replaced with computers, movies and Use synonyms
games
.
Use synonyms
Further
, children will get entertainment Linking Words
while
doing studies since many of them feel that studying through Linking Words
books
is boring. Use synonyms
This
is because they would enjoy learning through movies and Linking Words
games
since they get bored Use synonyms
while
studying through Linking Words
books
, and Use synonyms
thus
they would feel more urge to study. Linking Words
For example
, in research, it was found that almost a hundred per cent of students supported Linking Words
this
decision when a survey was done in 2021. Linking Words
Hence
, I strongly agree that Linking Words
this
decision would make children like studies more.
In conclusion, it is being argued that schools should replace Linking Words
books
with films, Use synonyms
games
and computers. I strongly agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because children would be able to save time by storing all the information they need in one place and they would get entertainment Linking Words
while
studying since many students get bored Linking Words
while
studying through Linking Words
books
.Use synonyms
Submitted by KaranAwal15 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You did a great job of responding completely to the question with your clear, strong stance agreeing with the statement. You also supported your argument with relevant examples. However, every main point you made should be backed up by a more detailed explanation for further clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, strong conclusion and all the main points are well supported. However, some areas might need better linking phrases to guide the reader from one idea to another. The transitions could be smoother.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary range is fine, but there is still room for improvement. You successfully used less common and idiomatic language which is important in respect of an advanced vocabulary. It would be even better if you could apply more variety of academic and field-specific words related to technology and education.
grammatical range
Your grammatical structure is quite good, there are only minimal issues and none of them seems to obstruct the understanding. However, do try to diversify the sentence structures to show your range and skill.