Schools should use films, computers and games to educate children instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Instead
of teaching with books
, schools should use movies, games
, laptops and other devices. I strongly agree with this
statement because they would be able to store more data in one place and they would get entertained as many of them feel that books
are boring.
Firstly
, students would not have to search multiple books
for particular information. In other words
, they would have all the information in one place which would save time while
doing their studies. For instance
, Japan has implemented this
strategy, and they have observed that almost thirty per cent of students’ time is saved. Therefore
, I highly agree that books
should be replaced with computers, movies and games
.
Further
, children will get entertainment while
doing studies since many of them feel that studying through books
is boring. This
is because they would enjoy learning through movies and games
since they get bored while
studying through books
, and thus
they would feel more urge to study. For example
, in research, it was found that almost a hundred per cent of students supported this
decision when a survey was done in 2021. Hence
, I strongly agree that this
decision would make children like studies more.
In conclusion, it is being argued that schools should replace books
with films, games
and computers. I strongly agree with this
statement because children would be able to save time by storing all the information they need in one place and they would get entertainment while
studying since many students get bored while
studying through books
.Submitted by KaranAwal15 on
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task achievement
You did a great job of responding completely to the question with your clear, strong stance agreeing with the statement. You also supported your argument with relevant examples. However, every main point you made should be backed up by a more detailed explanation for further clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, strong conclusion and all the main points are well supported. However, some areas might need better linking phrases to guide the reader from one idea to another. The transitions could be smoother.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary range is fine, but there is still room for improvement. You successfully used less common and idiomatic language which is important in respect of an advanced vocabulary. It would be even better if you could apply more variety of academic and field-specific words related to technology and education.
grammatical range
Your grammatical structure is quite good, there are only minimal issues and none of them seems to obstruct the understanding. However, do try to diversify the sentence structures to show your range and skill.