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Band 6.5

People should follow the customs and traditions when people start to live in a new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #customs #traditions #country
It is said that individuals who move to other nations for a better life or living conditions should follow the customs and traditions of the new country,
this
 statement, in my opinion, is not true and I completely disagree with it because
people
 have the freedom to live their lives with their own beliefs. First of all, it is really important that
people
 in any part of the world as individuals have the opportunity to live free, as we know the customs of the country are not always comfortable for others, in
this
 case, it is not reasonable to follow it,
for instance
, if a Muslim move to a county that has their own religion and different, he should not change his religion, but
instead
 the
people
 who live in the place should expect what the Muslim believe, and that must be the case.
Moreover
, it is difficult for the nation itself to make
people
 or tourists who come or immigrants with their different kinds of differences change and follow the tradition of the country, but it is easier to understand the Differences,
for example
, the USA has been a place for many types of humans and it is not important that
people
 should follow certain kind of beliefs provide they are peaceful, and
this
 is really more beautiful. In conclusion, a person's comfort is more important than anything, and countries should be aware of that,
people
 in the state should be able to expat if the tourist or the immigrant is not like them.
Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your essay and make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs. This will help in presenting a logical structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Make sure to include topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to connect your thoughts logically.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your opinion and sets the stage for the essay.
complete response
You have covered multiple aspects of the topic, discussing both the freedom of individuals and the difficulty for nations to impose customs and traditions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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