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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

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It is crucial for juveniles to know the dissimilarity between good and bad. Penalty is required
due to
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a
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apply
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better discipline.
This
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 essay completely disagrees with the latter statement. Children should be treated with respect and raised with love and conversation and not with threats and violence. In my opinion, no kind of punishment should be permitted. A child is a very fragile and vulnerable creature and all a parent or a tutor should do is pay attention to and educate the little ones with calmness and love.
Thus
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, they will grow up as loving and caring persons
,
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and, furthermore
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furthermore
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, will spread
this
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way
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 of thinking among their offspring. A distinction between right and wrong is sufficient to be known in the young years and adults should find a
way
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 to accomplish
this
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 task.
For example
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, Jane Daily, a teacher from the UK invented the "GooBad" game which implemented the contrast between those two opposite ideas in kids between 5 and 7 years.
This
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 experiment resulted in a 75% increase in the awareness of
this
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 topic and it can be said that it was as easy as a child's play. No penalty should be practised on children. Ever, in any obstacles.
Moreover
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, if a parent or teacher aims to hurt a youngster, he or she should be fined or judged. A young mind is a piece of cake to discipline if a person knows what to do and how to approach their
way
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 of thinking.
For instance
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, in Sofia, there is a 20% rise in fired kindergarten teachers, regarding violent behaviour toward little ones. In conclusion, I believe that juveniles must know what is right and what is wrong, but adults should think about a
way
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 to teach them without punishment attached.

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task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the question by expressing your disagreement with the statement and presenting your opinion. However, your ideas could have been clearer and more organized.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure throughout your essay, but some of your ideas could have been better supported with specific examples.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is generally appropriate and effective in conveying your ideas. However, you could have used more varied vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Your grammar is generally accurate, but there are some minor errors throughout the essay. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Moral development
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Negative reinforcement
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Disciplinary methods
  • Corporal punishment
  • Psychological effects
  • Authoritative parenting
  • Permissive parenting
  • Behavioural correction
  • Ethical considerations
  • Legal frameworks
  • Cognitive development
  • Social norms
  • Character building
  • Restorative practices
  • Authoritarian approach
  • Constructive criticism
  • Pro-social behavior
  • Conditioning
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